Dude: I just got back from waxing my board.
Receptionist: Oh, yeah? I noticed your board is long, like my husband's. Must be because you're both tall.
University Avenue
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: that's what she said
Dude: I just got back from waxing my board.
Receptionist: Oh, yeah? I noticed your board is long, like my husband's. Must be because you're both tall.
University Avenue
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: that's what she said
CEO: I hit a garbage truck this morning!
Admin: What?
CEO: I hit a garbage truck this morning! Broadsided it! Never even saw it!
Admin: You didn’t see a garbage truck?
CEO: I know! I was doing like 40 miles an hour! And my kid was in the car!
1190 Del Rio Place
Ontario, Canada
Overheard by: Never riding with the boss
Office girl: Why don't you get a baby? A cute little brown baby?
Gay office worker: I don't want a gay-by!
Office girl: Oh yeah, a cute little chocolate baby!
Gay office worker: I'd eat him! I love chocolate! (pause) Anyway where's my urn?
Manhattan, New York
Secretary: That’s what my sister did. They went to Niagara Falls and got married by a midget.
Uniontown, Ohio
Coworker #1 (checking out woman who just entered office): Damn, that bitch is ugleeee. Yikes!
Coworker #2: Hey, you jerk! That's my mom!
New York City, New York
Overheard by: agreeing with co-worker #1
Manager: How’s your mother?
Employee: She’s coming home tonight. They wanted to put her in a nursing home, but I said, ‘No way.’ Not at Christmas.
Manager: Doesn’t she need that level of care?
Employee: Not at Christmas, she doesn’t.
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Cubicle Right Outside
Librarian #1: He's getting married in September. I guess it's pretty serious.
Office worker: Of course it's serious if they're getting married!
Librarian #2: Well, he could be forced into it. Maybe it's an arranged marriage!
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Customer: I have seven sisters.
Pharmacist: Seven?
Customer: But I only have one left, they're dropping like flies. I'm getting tired of wearing black.
Charleston, West Virginia
Girl #1: Actually, I think her parents were brother and sister by adoption.
Girl #2: Does that mean she's an albino?
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Kate
IT tech #1: What day is father's day?
IT tech #2: Sunday.
IT tech #1: This Sunday? Shit!
IT tech #2: Yes, this Sunday.
IT tech #1: Wait a minute! Today is Thursday?!
IT tech #2: Yep, today is Thursday.
IT tech #1: Fuck!
IT tech #2: You totally forgot, didn't you?
IT tech #1: No, I have it completely covered, man. Completely. (hangs up, dials again) Honey, what would you like to do for father's day?
Santa Clara, California
