Guy #1: All that movie is about is white people punching their wives in the face.
Guy #2: Really?
Guy #1: I think it would be more fun to punch your wife in the stomach then in the face.
Woodlands, Texas
Guy #1: All that movie is about is white people punching their wives in the face.
Guy #2: Really?
Guy #1: I think it would be more fun to punch your wife in the stomach then in the face.
Woodlands, Texas
Editor #1: He's the son of the cake lady, right?
Editor #2: Yeah.
Editor #1: That lady died, right?
Editor #2: Yeah.
Editor #1: I wonder if he had something to do with it.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Confused reporter
Boss: It's okay to say “masturbation.”
Worker: Okay. He masturbates to his grandma's underwear.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: why do i work here
Staff Auditor: Hey [Senior Audtior], your wife is on the phone. Should we tell her the audit room smells too badly and you will call her back?
Senior Auditor: Yeah…
2345 Crystal Drive
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: Smell E. Lotz
Director, pointing to picture: This sister? Is she older than you?
Employee: No I’m the oldest.
Director: She looks older than you. Both your sisters do.
Employee: That’s because they both stopped taking their estrogen. They dried up.
365 W Passaic St,
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Cubicle right outside
20-something male cube dweller on phone: Hi, this is…hello? (pause) Oh, wow. No, sorry, I just heard your tone of voice and thought I should have been paying 4.99 for the call. (laughing) Is your mom home, or is she on her way here?
CRPC
Leeds
England
Overheard by: cubenerdery
Man on cell: He put you into a headlock and gave you a noogie? (pause) You realize our son is eight months old? (pause) Okay, almost nine months but still he can barely move his fingers, let alone put you into a headlock.
Founders Plaza
East Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Bamber
Old drone: My dad, when he got older, cut off his mustache, but then it wouldn't grow back in all the way, and he looked like Hitler.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Attendant: Is the cat male or female?
Animal Cop: Female.
Attendant: So you checked?
Animal Cop: No, I didn’t check the plumbing, if that’s what you mean.
Attendant: So how do you know it’s a female?
Animal Cop: Because the cat was feisty. Kind of like my wife.
326 110th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: M.L. Liu
Office girl: And that game of Pictionary nearly broke up our family.
Scarborough
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: C.note
