Customer: How much is a sheeet of 100 24-cent stamps?
Clerk: $24.00.
Customer: Okay, I'll take a sheet.
Clerk: I don't have a sheet of 100. Will a roll of 100 be okay?
Customer: I don't know. How much is that?
Clerk: $24.00.
US Post Office
Newton, Kansas
Working mom to teenage daughter: I am not going to the store this minute to buy you a lava lamp. I’m at work!
Ohio
Overheard by: Jewels
Newbie: Did you know Matt Goldberg used to be a singer?
Employee: Who?
Newbie: Mark Goldberg?
Employee: You mean Mark Wahlberg?
Newbie: Yeah! That’s it!
5100 Spectrum Way
Mississauga, Ontario
Canadia
30-something man: I tend to use the word “fab” a lot.
San Francisco, California
Male employee: I think simplicity is sexy. We have a lot of information, we just have to massage it a bit… I don't want to have to think about where I have to click, I just want to be able to mindlessly and intuitively click everywhere. Hp.com is a good example, go there.
Female employee, frustrated: I typed in “ho.com.”
Oakland, California
Butcher holding up pork: These are the finest butts I've ever seen. In fact, I just boned them myself!
Grand Blanc, Michigan
Employee: No one saw who took my chair? I hope I have crabs.
345 Broadway
New York City
Old hen: My granddaughter wants to ride on a fire truck in the parade, who should I call?
Fire dept. rep: We don't do that anymore, because of the liability.
Old hen: What liability?
Fire dept. rep: Some silly kid will be jumping around all excited and fall off the truck and break their head, and then the parents will sue us for a zillion dollars.
Old hen: Well, not if it was the kid's fault, they wouldn't.
Fire dept. rep: What cartoon planet are you from, exactly?
Oregon
Overheard by: b-mac
