Employee #1: Did you go out this weekend?
Employee #2: Not really.
Employee #1: I tried this new drink. The bartender said it was a ‘cum shot.’
Employee #2: How many drinks did it take before you did that?
Monroe Avenue
Rochester, New York
Overheard by: did you brush your teeth?
Metro driver: Please do not lean on the doors. If you lean on the doors they will break, and we will have to offload everyone from this train. And god knows we have had enough problems lately.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Rider
Guy in stall, answering cell: Wassup? (pause) Taking a crap. (pause) No. In the bathroom.
Herndon, Virginia
Account manager: Do you get the monthly reports and messages?
Office worker: No, I don’t get anything. I’m so lonely.
409 Prospect Street
New Haven, Connecticut
Coworker: You a drug rep?
Drug rep: Yep.
Coworker: What do you sell?
Drug rep: Well, if you're bleeding out your ass, I'm your man.
Independence Drive
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: hongrime
Employee filling out sick leave slip: How do you spell “vasectomy”?
Coworker: I can look it up… My mom had one.
Independence, Missouri
Office manager: Tess* is not going to be in for a few days. Her mother died.
Boss: Why does everything always happen to me?
Hackensack, New Jersey
Overheard by: Gary
Peon: I'm not on nearly enough medications to be a lawyer.
Kanata
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: not a lawyer
Cube-dweller (on phone): Thank you for calling , Andy speaking.
Customer: Can I speak to Charles, please?
Cube-dweller: Speaking.
Customer: Oh, I thought you said you were Andy?
Cube-dweller: Yes.
Customer: So…you're Andy and Charles?
Cube-dweller: Yes.
Customer: Okay… Well, I'm returning your call.
Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia
Overheard by: Andy. I mean, Charles.
Employee: Rat balls are nasty!
Raytheon
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: taaj
