Customer: I need the cold and flu meds that I have to be logged into a data base for.
Pharmacist: Well, can you tell me your symptoms?
Customer: Well, I'm sore and my head… it's like my whole head is just like… like someone sat on my face… but not in a good way.
(pharmacist gives deadpan face and goes to get meds)
Customer: You know, like a big fat person sat on my face… head. Do you take debit?
Mandeville, Louisiana
Overheard by: ShiftSuper2theSTARS
Male office drone: Aaahhhh! The female urinal!
Perth
Australia
Data manager to minion: Body parts aren’t nearly as uncomfortable as homicide.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: AureateCalyx
Intern: So do any celebrities subscribe to our magazine?
Circulation guru: Actually, James Caan and Shirley MacLaine are longtime subscribers. Even Dennis Hopper got our mag for awhile.
Intern (sighing): I mean like real celebrities. You know: Tila Tequila or Zac Efron…
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: ugh.
Auditor: Well, of course I'd rather pray to a waving kitten instead of a guy nailed on a cross. But it's blasphemous.
Watsonville, California
Overheard by: Calling HR Now
Obese woman on mobility scooter, scowling: Whatever happened to rational soups?
Employee cafeteria
Salisbury, Maryland
Overheard by: minnie stronie
Employee girl: Hey, can I have your pickle again today?
Employee guy: I was wondering when you were going to ask for it. Where do you want it?
Employee girl: Here is fine. (to receptionist) I always eat his pickle.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Cubicle Dweller
Peon: Did you see that chick last night? She was so hot. After the meeting, Eric* made a beeline for her.
Co-worker: Oh, yeah? She was hot?
Peon: Well, in the real world she was probably like a 7, but in the lawyer world, she’s like a 12.
West Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Julianna
Employee: Hey, it’s The Bobster! I was just out–
Bob: Seriously, why did you just add “the” and “ster” to my name?
27450 Ynez Road
Temecula, California
Overheard by: Jake Glazier
Office guy: I was using the adjective, not the dwarf.
Manhattan, New York
