Supervisor: How was the soup the clients brought?
Worker: Didn't you get any?
Supervisor: I had a lot of work and by the time I got there it was sublimed.
Worker: “Sublimed”?
Supervisor: Yeah, I used the wrong word. That happens a lot when I'm stressed off.
Culver City, California
Worker bee #1: If only the sheets weren't green…
Counselor: Maybe blue sheets?
Worker bee #2: What's wrong with green? They've been green sheets for years! You could leave tomorrow and we'd be stuck with pink sheets!
Worker bee #1: No, I don't like pink, they wouldn't be pink. Also, where am I going?
Worker bee #2: I don't know!
(pause)
Worker bee #1: Maybe something sassy…
Counselor: Well, I'm feeling lightheaded now.
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: student worker
Older woman to employee: Italy is a country in Rome, right?
Barnes & Noble
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: kristen
Building super: Never ride the warlock's steed.
Vancouver
Canadia
Office chick: Welcome to imports. Please enjoy the music while you slowly lose your fucking mind.
Guy: I know. I have a bad feeling about this.
Office chick: Yeah… I usually wake up with that.
Boston, Massachusetts
Government employee to admin: Do we have any vanilla folders up here?
Admin: Let me check. No more vanilla folders. We'll have to order some more.
Department of Justice
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Tasty Office Supplies
Cubicle dweller: What exactly is “squirming”?
IBM
Austin, Texas
Target employee: We need a mop.
Cashier #1: They need a what?
Cashier #2: A mop. Hello-o! Mop! M-o-p-p.
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: had to hold back from poking her in eye with mop.
Customer: Do you have any balls?
Golf pro: What kind of balls are you looking for?
Customer: Colored ones. My wife loves colored balls!
Charleston, South Carolina
Ditzy blonde intern: I just met the cutest guy on the elevator!
Less ditzy staff: Oh, which office does he work for?
Ditzy blonde intern: Hold on, he gave me his card. (shuffles through purse) Pol–politico's office?
Less ditzy staff: Shit, you talked to the press! You know you're not supposed to talk to those assholes!
Ditzy blonde intern: Shit! Are they gonna fire me?
Less ditzy staff: What are you gonna do about this?
Ditzy blonde intern, after long pause: Does politico do takebacks?
Washington, DC
