Can't Wait 'til the Official Language Of the U.S. Becomes Southern

Secretary on phone: How am I? I'm finer than a frog's hair split four ways.
(pause) I *said* I'm… finer… than… a… frog's… hair… split… four… ways.
(pause) It means I'm miserable!

Virginia Tech
Blacksburg, Virginia

Posted on February 6, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Employees, Feelings, Questions, Virginia, Words

And Its Little Dog, Too

Cube rat: Damn the metric system!

State College, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Word.

Posted on February 4, 2015
Cubicles, Default, Education, Employees, Gripes, Pennsylvania, Weirdness

In the Subway, for Example

Adorable PA: Seriously, though, maybe you need a good, physically visible Eros love influence in your life. I learn by rubbing off on people. Maybe you do too?

Newark, New Jersey

Posted on February 2, 2015
Advice, Education, Employees, Feelings, New Jersey

Crazy Idealists Do Incalculable Damage in the Workplace

Newly appointed head of county school superintendent's office: We need to teach out children why they need to know trigometry. (pause) With cooperation from sheriff's real CSI, kids will learn how trigometry is used to solve crimes.

Apple Valley, California

Overheard by: Kittytrix

Posted on January 28, 2015
Bosses, California, Crimes, Education, Science, Weirdness

Though, When We Hired Him, He Seemed Brazilliant

Coworker: Did you know Tom* was fired?
Boss: I guess he was bolivious to the the fact he just didn't have the education to keep up with the workload.

Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: stuckinacube

Posted on January 12, 2015
Bosses, Education, Employees, Hiring & Firing, Kentucky, Questions, Words

Like The Quicken Dance?

Coworker #1: Where were you all day?
Coworker #2: Oh, I had to take an Excel class today.
Coworker #1: Oh, do you do any other types of dance?

Reading, Pennsylvania

Posted on January 6, 2015
Coworkers, Education, General Idiocy, Pennsylvania, Questions, Technology

But Enough About My Relationship with My Interns…

Cube dweller: I can't discipline my children, they don't listen to me.
Boss: Nothing better than spanking a wet, naked ass.

Peabody, Massachusetts

Posted on January 6, 2015
Advice, Body Parts, Bosses, Education, Employees, Family, Massachusetts, Violence, Weirdness

What I Like to Call a Jersey Genius

Coworker, about botched client presentation: His learning curve is big. He'll make the same mistakes six times before he gets it, but after that sixth time, he'll never make that same mistake again!

Parsippany, New Jersey

Posted on January 6, 2015
Education, Employees, General Idiocy, New Jersey

The American Dream.

Female customer to male clerk wearing “Smith College” shirt: Did you go to Smith College?
Male clerk, in completely deadpan tone: Yes, I've got a vagina and I went to Smith College.

Fairfield, Connecticut

Overheard by: Fred

Posted on January 2, 2015
Body Parts, Comebacks, Connecticut, Customers, Education, Employees

Or One Of Those Fictional Places, Like in Madagascar?

Redneck high school kid checking out campus: Guantanamo Bay? Is that one of the places the bugs attack in Starship Troopers?

UT Campus
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Flabbergasted Longhorn

Posted on December 31, 2014
Animals, Cinema, Education, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Students, Texas

Education