Dumb Customers

CSR: Yes, ma'm, that cellphone plan has unlimited minutes.
Customer: And how many minutes is that exactly?

Oklahoma

Overheard by: couldn't make this up

Customer: I would like to buy this box of condoms, but I want to know if I can return them if they don't work.
Cashier: What do you mean “if they don't work?”
Customer: You know! If I get pregnant!

Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: OhMyGodBecky

Older Asian lady: Oh, you shaved your beard off!
IT guy: Yep!
Older Asian lady: Now I don't have to be afraid of you.
IT guy: What?
Older Asian lady: Every time I saw you with your beard, I was afraid you were going to mug me, but now you don't look like a mugger.
IT guy: Thanks… I think?

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Amused at Asian ladies…

Guy to waitress: So, this cookie plate. What is it, a plate of cookies?

Chicago,Illinois

Bookseller in children's department: Can I help you find anything?
Mother: Has CS Lewis written anything new lately?

Tuscaloosa, Alabama

Salon receptionist: How can I help you?
Girl: I would like to schedule an appointment for acrylic nails.
Salon receptionist: Okay, can I get your first and last name?
Girl: Sure, it's Lindsay… (long pause) …I forgot the second question.

San Diego, California

Overheard by: Really…?!

Tech support rep: Okay, so go ahead and type in the url in the address bar.
Customer: Okay, uh, um, should I be on the internet?
Tech support rep: Yes.
Customer: Okay. Um. Okay. So uh, should I google “internet”?

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: loves three way calling and the mute button

Cashier: Hello, sir. What would you like?
Customer: What would I like? Hm…let me look inside myself and see what I desire.

Portland, Maine

Customer: I don't care! I don't care that I need to talk to him! I don't care that he's unavailable! Do you hear me? I don't care.
Customer service rep, blandly: Then why have you called us today, sir, if you're so apathetic?

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: i used to be his supervisor

Teller, giving ATM instructions: Now just hit the little button that says “confirm” on the screen.
Customer: Is that the red button that says “cancel”?

Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: bankbug