Pissed Off v. Pissed On (Worst Aesop’s Fable Ever)

A handicapped client has had to be restrained for assaulting a staff.

Co-worker #1: Your behaviour was completely out of line. You hit me, tried to bite me and pissed all over my leg. How would you like it if I pissed on you if I was angry at you?
Client: I wouldn’t like it.
Co-worker #1: Hey [Jake], when you are angry at your girlfriend, do you piss all over her and try to bite her?
Co-worker #2: No, I don’t. We talk things out and listen to each other. Why did you piss on us during the restraint?
Client: You guys were not listening to me.

2a Ormonde Avenue
St. Catharines, Ontario
Canadia

Posted on July 9, 2014
Canadia, Coworkers, Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, Gripes, Outbursts, Relationships, Restroom, Violence

I Told You to Stop Referring to the Temp That Way

Desk agent to male valet: Where's your little reusable thing?
Alarmed valet: Pardon?

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Michelle

Posted on December 22, 2010
Body Parts, Comebacks, Dumb Customers, Questions, Washington

And MY Handle Is Not Broken, If You Follow Me

Man: Do you have a restroom?
Woman: Yes, through that door. You should know the handle is broken.
Man: Does it accept?
Woman: Um, yeah…
Man: Good, as long as it accepts, that's all that matters. I've got quite the load, if you know what I mean.

Napa, California

Posted on December 9, 2010
California, Dumb Customers, Health & Hygiene, Restroom, Weirdness

People Go to Radio Shack for That?

Sales girl: Can I help you find anything today?
Middle-aged woman: Yeah, um…
Teenage daughter: What headphones here work with my iPod?
Sales girl: Any of these in this section. Is there a particular kind you are looking for?
Middle-aged woman: Um, are you sure? Could you ask someone and make sure?
Sales girl: Um…
Teenage daughter: Mom, she said these ones.
Sales girl: Let me know if you have any questions…
(five minutes later)
Middle-aged woman to new sales guy: Hi, I was wondering if these headphones will work with an mp3 player?
New sales guy: Um… Uh… Hang on. Julie*, do these…
Sales girl, with her back turned: Yeah, yeah, they do.
New sales guy, laughing: That was quick.
Sales girl: No psychic powers. She already asked me. I guess she just wanted a second opinion with a penis.
Teenage daughter: Good job, mom.

Bloomington, Indiana

Overheard by: You've Got Questions; We've Got Blank Stares

Posted on December 7, 2010
Advice, Compare and contrast, Dumb Customers, Indiana, Smart Employees, Technology

…And I Don't Appreciate Your Making Assumptions Otherwise!

Customer service: Thank you for calling, Mr. Smith, is the account holder your spouse?
Confused customer: No, she's my wife.

Columbus, Ohio

Posted on November 17, 2010
Customer Service, Dumb Customers, Family, General Idiocy, Ohio, Questions, Words

Is This Conversation for Real?

Customer: Excuse me, maybe you know the answer to this. Are betta fish mythological?
Waiter: Um, no. They're real.
Customer: Well, I know they're real, but are they mythological?
(waiter walks away)

Chapel Hill, North Carolina