You Seem to Have Lost Your Passion for the Business

Market researcher, frustrated at client: I don’t have auto pilot Las Vegas porn attendance statistics in my brain!

Pearl District
Portland, Oregon

Posted on October 19, 2018
Consultants, Default, Offers and requests, Oregon, Weirdness

…Have You Heard One Of Us Is Gonna Get the Shaft?

IT guy, out of the blue: Speaking of penetration…

Hill Air Force Base, Utah

Overheard by: Wendy

Posted on October 7, 2018
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Dude, That’s My Desk

Bitter intern to cheerful intern: Jeez, stop being so motivated and shit. The only thing I’m actively doing today is refraining from eating magic mushrooms at my desk.

Rockefeller Plaza
New York City, New York

Posted on October 6, 2018
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Interns & Temps, New York, Offers and requests, Substance Use & Abuse

And I Have Sworn Statements Attesting to That Fact

Office grunt: I do have a great divide!

9350 Wilshire Boulevard
Beverly Hills, California

Overheard by: lonecomic

Posted on October 5, 2018
Body Parts, California and Northwest, Coworkers, Default, Words

And Arbor Day in Your Toilet

30-something girl to male co-worker: It’s always Christmas in your trash can.

St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: Angela

Posted on October 3, 2018
Coworkers, Default, Holidays, Missouri, Weirdness

Apparently “Make Stuffing” Is an Arcane Insult in North Carolina

(scientist gets in a packed elevator)
Scientist: I can’t believe it’s this busy the day before Thanksgiving.
Secretary: Surprisingly.
Scientist: I said: “I can’t believe it’s this busy!” It’s the day before Thanksgiving!
Tech: It’s actually two days from Thanksgiving.
Scientist: I’m going to go home and make my turkey tonight. Have it ready for the family!
Suit: What a good idea. You should make the stuffing with it, save time.
(scientist smiles, gets off)
Tech: That wasn’t nice.
Suit: He farted while in an elevator, I don’t care.

Extremely Small Elevator
Research Triangle Park, North Carolina

Posted on September 21, 2018
Advice, Default, Holidays, Meals and Snacks, North Carolina, Science and engineering, Sensory Experiences, Strangers, Suits, Tech People

You Call This a Gay Bar?

Stranger at urinal, before storming out of the bathroom: They don’t play enough Cher, that’s what blows!

Melville, New York

Posted on September 20, 2018
Default, Gripes, Music, New York, Strangers

So How Do You Wrap Your Meat, Then?

Woman: Gary*, do you have any peach paper?
Gary, flabbergasted: Peach paper?! I’m a man!

Madison Street
Syracuse, New York

Overheard by: jimBO

Posted on September 12, 2018
Comebacks, Couples, Default, New York, Questions

They Make Me Write on Paper Circles with Blunt Crayons

Cubicle-dweller nearby: I'm really surprised that they gave me these little things with sharp points on them, I'm usually not allowed to have sharp things.

Mission Ridge
Goodlettsville, Tennessee

Posted on September 7, 2018
Cubicles, Default, Feelings, Tennessee, Violence, Weirdness

Wish I Was a Smart Person With Smart Problems

Woman on phone: Sometimes, when I pour boiling water on myself… It stings!

5th Ave., Anchorage

Posted on September 4, 2018
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