Director: You were wearing a tube top and you *still* got a ticket?
Indianapolis, Indiana
Director: You were wearing a tube top and you *still* got a ticket?
Indianapolis, Indiana
Finance manager: "every time I see tim [one of the deans], I just keep thinking about how I saw him once in the bathroom, slumped over a urinal…"
Executive assistant: "marshall, please stop now."
Finance manager: "… Like he couldn't get all the way to the toilet. He was tossin' his cookies. He looked bad. I asked him if he needed a ride home, and he said his wife was coming. I guess when your time is up, you've gotta do what you've gotta do. At least he made it past the sink. It has that little grate thing in it."
Executive assistant: *face in hands, shaking her head back and forth*.
Finance manager: "you'll probably think of that every time you see him now, huh?" *walks away*.
Anschutz Medical Campus
Aurora, CO
Overheard by: I Don't Get Paid Enough
Worker bee #1: Your car doesn’t get very good mileage, does it?
Worker bee #2: Well, it gets 21 on the highway.
Worker bee #1: Do you do any highway driving?
Worker bee #2: No, not really.
Main Street
Spencer, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Paul Skarmeas
Employee #1: You know that part of your brain that stops you from doing stupid shit?
Employee #2: Nope.
Employee #1: Oh.
Galleria
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: consultantinka
Male postdoc: Are you sure you can’t do this experiment alone tomorrow?
Female postdoc: I’m sure! I’ll ask someone to help! I can’t do it alone! I’m too short! Pretty! Boobs, and stuff!
Physics Lab
Hunter College, New York
Manager, just after he finishes dialing phone: I’m calling ol’ big tits.
Female voice: Uh, hello?
Manager: Oh… Hi. Who is this?
Female voice, angrily: This is ‘big tits,’ apparently.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Ditzy CSR: Sketchy restaurants have the best burritos.
Busy coworker: Uh-huh.
Ditzy CSR: Because if it's not sketchy, it's not Mexican.
Busy coworker: Yeah… Uh… You should really reconsider your phrasing.
Boston, Massachusetts
Boss to employee: This person's navel looks abnormally large.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Ronni
Coworker, whispering to another: She has such nice eyebrows; so neatly trimmed. Makes you think she keeps other places tidy.
Bay Shore, New York
Young, attractive woman, disgusted: There were some horrible people on my tram this morning. They smelled so bad, like a proper toilet. It was disgusting. They should at least take a shower. The government pays them like 13 grand to be homeless. Or have a baby, then you get money. They shouldn't smell like that.
Melbourne
Australia
