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Co-worker: I have extroverted genitalia.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Retail employee #1: I’m gonna have to leave early today, my friend and I are going to go and get the Wii.
Retail employee #2: Oooh, the weed? I want some!

Stonebriar Mall
Frisco, Texas

Peon, walking into boss’s office: What smells so good? It smells like my grandmother’s cooking.
Boss: Oh, Joan* brought pork chop for lunch. I guess she thought I was emancipated.
Peon, laughing and mumbling: She thought what?

Athens, Georgia

Man, finding coworker rummaging through his desk: I assure you there is nothing interesting in my drawers.

Stamford, Connecticut

Coworker on phone: So I told our new accountant what I needed, and he looks at me and says: “But this will take me all day.” I told him: “It takes me all day to do my job too. Did you have other plans?”

3rd Avenue
New York City, New York

Building manager: Which is the drawer with all the tools?
Coworker: The middle bottom one.
Building manager (looking in tool box): Why do you guys have so many knives?
Coworker: It’s a long story.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/310713849/sounds-like-a-good-story.html

Overheard by: a diligent worker

Amazed boss: Look at that! He drinks water and types at the same time!

Santa Monica, California

Phone girl #1: It has smelled like stuff in here all day.
Phone girl #2: I know, it’s like food just walked over here.

New York City, New York

Obnoxious server: Ewww, did you just fart, dude?
Timid new guy: Uh, no, I’m sorry.
Obnoxious server: Musta been me. Smells like pot roast, doesn’t it?

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Manager (after finding a flyer advertising “weed for sale” on his windshield): At first I was pissed, because they came to my home and put it on my car. But then I was like: “Really? There’s no way I’m paying that much for an eighth!”

Texas