You Wacky Brits Pickle Everything

Female teacher to male teacher: Aw, you're such a gentleman! When you die we're going to pickle you and put you in the corner and label you “the last gentleman.”

Arts and Humanities Dept
Bexhill College
England

Overheard by: Corinne

Posted on January 27, 2020
Compliments, Death, England, Teachers

Dear World, I’m Killing Myself at This Time to Inconvenience Cousin Bob

Co-Worker: My cousin died in a car accident yesterday.
Boss: Oh, I’m sorry.
Co-Worker: Yeah. The funeral is Saturday in St. Louis.
Boss: Will you be going?
Co-Worker: Oh no! That’s not enough time for me to get everything around and make it down there! I mean, maybe if they had given me a week’s notice…

Olentangy River Road
Columbus, Ohio

Posted on December 5, 2019
Bosses, Coworkers, Death, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Gripes, Ohio, Time Management

Forcing Us to Hire More Temps

Middle-aged manager: Whoa! You're new here!
Young female temp (making copies): Yeah, I just started on Monday, I'm a temp.
Middle-aged manager: Has anyone shown you the dead bodies yet?
Young female temp: Uh, no.
Middle-aged manager: Once the temps realize what creeps we are, they kill us.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: a temp

Posted on October 16, 2019
Bosses and Underlings, Crimes, Death, Interns & Temps, Minnesota, Questions, Violence

They're All Over Me Lately

Coworker #1: Did you hear about that cat that predicts people's deaths?
Coworker #2: Yep, scarrrry.
Coworker #1: I love cats.

London
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on September 15, 2019
Animals, Canadia, Coworkers, Death, Feelings, Questions, Weirdness

12PM Lunch

Receptionist over the intercom: Obituaries…Mmmmmmm….

16 Bailey Avenue
Ridgefield, Connecticut

Overheard by: Nikki

Posted on August 30, 2019
Connecticut, Death, On the phone, Receptionists

Indiana's Right-to-Life Law Doesn't Extend to Adults

Boss: Carl! It's a good thing you aren't a dog or I'd have put you down by now!

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: BFScollegegirl

Posted on July 18, 2019
Animals, Bosses, Compare and contrast, Death, Indiana, Violence

5PM That’s a Wrap

Funeral director: So, you know all the procedures now, right?
Secretary: Yes, I believe so, I just never had to go get the organ out for a service.
Funeral director: Well, you know where it’s at, right?
Secretary: Yeah, so you just go in the back and pull it out and stick it in there, right?

2157 Oak Street
Wyandotte, Michigan

Posted on July 12, 2019
Arts, Bosses, Death, Michigan, Receptionists, Words

I’d Fix It Myself, but I’m Heading Out Soon

Young drone: Do you realize that everything you print has the heading ‘Dead’ on it?
Old drone: I wish they’d change that.

441 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York

Posted on July 11, 2019
Death, Employees, Gripes, New York, Words

And Request to Be Buried with the Paper

Admin, looking up from newspaper and greeting guest: Hello, Mr Blue. Please have a seat, director Green will be right with you.
Mr Blue: You know, if you were my employee and you were reading the paper at your desk, I would fire you.
Admin: If I were your employee, I would kill myself.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Civil Servant

Posted on May 9, 2019
Admins, Comebacks, Death, Hiring & Firing, Indiana

The Loincloth and Spear Were Also a Tip-Off

Associate attorney to boss: Hey! You're smiling! You must've killed a client!

Reston, Virginia

Overheard by: The Receptionist Hears the Darndest Things

Posted on April 16, 2019
Bosses, Crimes, Death, Lawyers, Violence, Virginia, Weirdness

Death