Hotel Manager: Can we help you, ma’am?
Guest: My husband just got on the elevator without me, I can’t believe that little shit/
Hotel Manager: Well, if we track him down we can send him your way.
Guest: If I can’t keep track of him after 30 years you won’t either.
9 East Wilson Street
Madison, Wisconsin
Young female manager: Can I get you anything else today, sir?
Man: Yeah, a wife of childbearing age.
Young female manager: Well, I can’t help you there, but how about some water?
208 West 72nd Street
New York, New York
Lady at meat counter: I had to buy some from Wal-Mart!
Meat guy: Aww!
Whole Foods
Winter Park, Florida
Overheard by: Sarah
Authoritative man in cafeteria line: Hm. I love twice-baked potatoes.
Man behind him: Aren't twice-baked potatoes the same as mashed potatoes?
Authoritative man in cafeteria line: The difference is that twice-baked potatoes are baked twice.
Swanton, Ohio
Overheard by: Boehmhemian
Customer: What’s this called?
Sales associate: A duvet cover.
Customer: No, no… what’s inside it?
Sales associate: A duvet.
IKEA
Costa Mesa, California
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
Lady in large party: How can you remember all of this?
Waiter: The longer I stand here, the less I remember.
Restaurant
Placerville, California
Cockney waitress to customer: We haven't got any chicken sandwiches, but I can do an impersonation!
Rye
England
Older woman library user: I'd like to send a sympathy card to Perry Como.
Librarian: I thought he died several years ago.
Library user: I know. The last address I have is in Jupiter, Florida.
Hawthorne, California
Overheard by: librain13
Client in high end salon to receptionist: I've got to ask you: how do you keep such a fabulous year-round tan?
Receptionist, giving blank stare: I'm half black.
Bellevue, Washington
