Senior business analyst: That e-mail is pretty good. Now just polish it up and send it out.
Business analyst: I did polish it!
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Derek Braithwaite
Senior business analyst: That e-mail is pretty good. Now just polish it up and send it out.
Business analyst: I did polish it!
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Derek Braithwaite
Female coworker, threatening another female coworker: Well, if I get a fucking yeast infection, you’re going to be the first to hear about it!
6th & Maple
Spokane, Washington
Middle-aged woman #1: I didn’t get any vacation time this year because I was so busy with my mother.
Middle-aged woman #2: How is your mother doing? Does she have anyone to talk to? Like friends or anyone?
Middle-aged woman #1: Well, yes, but the problem is that all the 85-year-old men want is phone sex.
20-something girl: Well, there’s something to look forward to.
Midtown Building
New York City, New York
Co-worker: She is just the sweetest dog…except she likes to bite kids in the face.
625 Cherry Street
Columbia, Missouri
Female co-worker: Oh my god, I love gay Asians!
Ad Agency
Florida
Well-dressed 30-something woman: So my son was like: “Mom! There’s this ball in my privates and it’s moving around!” So I told him to talk to his father because I want nothing to do with this conversion. So he says: “Dad! There’s this ball in my privates and it’s moving around!” and my husband goes: “Yeah -’cause those are your balls. Women have boobs and men have balls and those are your balls! End of story.”
Slightly horrified 20-something woman: Don’t you think that will ultimately confuse him?
30-something woman: I know, right?! Anyway, it was so funny… [Laughs] Balls!
Providence, Rhode Island
Male coworker to another: As a man, have you ever had your nipples get sore from your shirt rubbing on them?
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Amelia
Secretary: Wait, don’t you have to be in the military to run for president?
Worker: No. I’ve taken karate in the past, so I get to skip that step.
Secretary: Oh… But do you really think you’d get enough votes?
5000 South Lewis Avenue
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Whoa Now
Customer: Last week I bought two of these toy bulldozers for my nephews, and I’d like to exchange this one for a backhoe.
CSR: Okay.
Customer: Would you like me to go back to the toy department and get the other one?
CSR: No, I’ll page and have someone bring one up here for you. [Over intercom] Attention, Toy Department. Will someone please bring a black ho to the service desk? I repeat, we need a black ho at the service desk.
Value City
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Did that really just happen?
Accountant: We’re taking Mark* to Joe’s Crab Shack for his retirement party at the end of the month.
Secretary: Is that where you want to go? I figured you for more of a Hooters man. Wouldn’t you rather have Hooters than crabs?
Mark: I thought the two went hand in hand! You can’t have one without the other.
401 Church Street
Nashville Tennessee
