20-something coworker on phone: You know, if you spray keyboard duster in your ear, it gives you a mega head rush.
745 Atlantic Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Say What?
20-something coworker on phone: You know, if you spray keyboard duster in your ear, it gives you a mega head rush.
745 Atlantic Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Say What?
Female coworker sitting on desk: Do you want to pet my shoes?
20 Guest Street
Brighton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: not if they bite
Female employee #1: I can’t wear thong underwear, because they go up into my pussy crack.
Female employee #2: What?! How big are you down there?
Female employee #1: Oh, it’s fucking huge.
Fontana, California
Male coworker to female, after lunch: I can’t believe that you wouldn’t eat anything but white rice at the Indian restaurant. You’d never make it at Epcot.
St. Petersburg, Florida
Cube rat to another: Yay! I love the blue pills! Yaaay!
Alpharetta, Georgia
Overheard by: i want some
Woman peon, going to holiday party: So, did you RSVP to this, or just talk to Sandy*?
Bimbette peon: I RSVP-ed — it’s so rude not to. I have a friend who I always invite out, and she never comes.
Woman peon: I hate one-sided friendships.
Bimbette peon: Yeah, I mean, she has MS, but she’s always using it as an excuse not to go out. I leave her phone messages, and her husband will call me back and say that she can’t go out because her MS is bad. I mean, come on!
Woman peon: That’s terrible. How long has she had it?
Bimbette peon: Since I’ve known her… So, 1995. But, I mean, can’t you take a pill for something like that and be okay for a while? The least she could do is return a phone call.
8521 Leesburg Pike
Vienna, Virginia
Overheard by: Lindsay
Australian employee: What’s your expression for ‘Back of the fag packet’?
American employee: First, you’ll have to tell me what a ‘fag packet’ is. Then I might be able to help.
Empire State Building
New York, New York
Coworker #1, to editor: Do you know where the call-in phone number on the back of XYZ Publication* goes to?
Coworker #2: I have no idea.
Coworker #1: Well, [boss] called the other day and asked where it went to. I called it just now, and it answers with the voice of Dana*, but she hasn’t worked here in seven months!
Coworker #2, looking at Dana’s empty desk area: I guess that it just goes to her phone, and whoever gets that extension will get all of the messages.
Coworker #1: So it doesn’t matter to you that readers might be calling in and leaving messages that are not being returned?
Coworker #2: No.
45 Leveroni Court
Novato, California
40-ish cube dweller #1: Hey, do you have a Star Trek costume I can borrow?
40-ish cube dweller #2: Why are you asking me? Why didn’t you ask Kevin*? What makes you think that I have one?
40-ish cube dweller #1: Well, do you?
40-ish cube dweller #2: Yes. [Very long pause.] But only the shirt. It’s a blue one like Spock wore. I also have the tricorder and the gold sash from the ‘Mirror, Mirror’ episode. I’ll bring it in tomorrow.
Lexington Street
Baltimore, Maryland
20-ish woman peon #1: So, I started my cleanse this week–
20-ish woman peon #2: –Wait, are we talking about poop again? Why are we always talking about poop? Aren’t we a little young for this? [Others stare blankly.] Well, I am strangely comfortable with it. [Others keep staring, so #2 leaves, griping] I hate Oprah.
44th Street
Phoenix, Arizona
