Female worker: I've been here so long, I can think of a million ways to get back at you.
Male worker: I'll just come in and start throwing water balloons.
Female worker: That's like stabbing, though.
Wall Street
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Tonic
Worker #1: I don't think he looks like John Candy. I think he looks like the guy who killed John Candy.
Worker #2: With what? Donuts?
Lakeside Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Not paid enough.
Coworker #1: I almost said something stupid, but I stopped myself.
Coworker #2: Did it hurt?
Coworker #1: Yeah, a little.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Miranda
Grumpy loud guy to confused coworker: Stop going out and drinking your lunch!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Coworker #1, holding small letter opener: Do you have one of these, only smaller?
Coworker #2: What's wrong with that one?
Coworker #1: It's too thick. I can't fit in in the smaller slits and it tears the whole thing apart most of the time.
Coworker #3: I had a boyfriend like that once.
Coworker #2: What the fuck?
Santa Ana, California
Overheard by: errica
Cube dweller #1: My cousin was in the hospital last week.
Cube dweller #2: Yeah? My brother was in the hospital last week. He had an operation to remove…ummm, something.
Cube dweller #1: What, his tonsils?
Cube dweller #2: No, it started with “p.”
Cube dweller #1: Oh, gawd, not his prostate?
Cube dweller #2: No… Oh, yeah. It was his pendix.
Tampa, Florida
Coworker #1: I like the smell of gasoline.
Coworker #2: Oh, me too!
Coworker #3: That's because you used to do drugs.
Coworker #4: Who are you people?
Coworker #3: I like the smell of jet fuel.
Coworker #5: I like the smell of burnt rubber.
Coworker #3: That's because you used to be into dungeons.
Coworker #5 (wistfully): Oh, not anymore though…I'm married now.
Broadway & Canal
New York City
Overheard by: office peon loves her job
Male coworker singing in creepy falsetto: I work hard for my money, uh huh, uh huh, so hard for my money!
Valencia, California
Overheard by: disturbed yet laughing
Cube rat to another: How does love taste?
Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: A. Pincus
Male office peon: Why isn't my deodorant holding me? It's wearing off already.
Female office peon: What?
Male office peon: I guess I should stop using Degree for Women!
Tulsa, Oklahoma
