Boss: We need you two to go through these patents on review, every line of them, very carefully. You're going to have to be real anal.
Blond coworker: Oh, I'm real good at anal.
Boss: Great, any questions?
Menlo Park, California
Boss: We need you two to go through these patents on review, every line of them, very carefully. You're going to have to be real anal.
Blond coworker: Oh, I'm real good at anal.
Boss: Great, any questions?
Menlo Park, California
Coworker #1: There were two worms fornicating in my yard last night.
Coworker #2: Um, worms are asexual.
Coworker #3: Just because they're asexual doesn't mean they can't have fun!
Jenkintown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: I Love My Job
Coworker #1: Do you see Matt's hair? He looked like Mrs. Bates from Psycho. He had his hair up in a bun.
Coworker #2: A mun?
Library
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Coworker #1: So I had this really good wine the other night. It was called “Shark.”
Coworker #2: Hmmmm…I'll have to try that.
Coworker #1: Yes, it's spelled “T-S-C-H.”
Foggy Bottom
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Cubicle Rockin
Coworker #1: Well, show her the law.
Coworker #2: If I show her the law, she will take her gun out and shoot me!
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Scared to go with her
Male office worker: So, are you looking forward to the symphony this weekend?
Female office worker (excitedly): Oh yes! Beethoven's only opera, Fidelio!
Male office worker: Have you heard it before?
Female office worker: No, it's my first opera. But I've been reading about it. Beethoven was a genius!
Male office worker: Yeah. But why do you say that?
Female office worker: Well, he wrote all that music, and he was blind!
St. Louis, Missouri
Female coworker #1: I just haven't been feeling well lately.
Female coworker #2: Do you want to suck on something?
Westminster, California
Employee to another: So she lost her two front teeth saving the potbellied pig jumping in the pool.
Silver Spring, Maryland
Coworker to intern: So do you want to have a two hour jam session? For Jesus!
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: claire
Male coworker: What's up with everybody being sick right now?
Female coworker: Seriously! I was sick a few days ago and went to the walk-in clinic. The doctor gave me an antibiotic but I didn't take it. I gave it to my husband because he's sick too.
Male coworker: What do you mean you didn't take it? Why are you being non-compliant with treatment?
Female coworker: Well, this is probably TMI, but I can't take antibiotics. They give me yeast infections.
Columbus, Indiana
Overheard by:
