Coworker #1 (looking in the mirror): Did you notice that I was wearing blue eyeshadow today?
Coworker #2: No, I didn't.
Coworker #1: Thought it would bring out my blue eyes, but it just makes me look like a whore…
Addison, Texas
Overheard by: emily
Coworker #1 (looking in the mirror): Did you notice that I was wearing blue eyeshadow today?
Coworker #2: No, I didn't.
Coworker #1: Thought it would bring out my blue eyes, but it just makes me look like a whore…
Addison, Texas
Overheard by: emily
Coworker (exchanging his stapler for absent coworker's stapler): My stapler is broken.
Intern: You're bad! Bad!
Coworker: Muahahaha! I am eeeevil!
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Hiding my stapler
Male office drone #1: I was just talking to a bunch of people and I realized afterwards that I had ChapStick all over my face. That's just great.
Male office drone #2: The same thing happens to me, except with lipstick.
Mesa, Arizona
Worker #1: I mean, I just want to tell them I can't make them feel better. *Bob* can't make them feel better. *Katrina* can't make them feel better. Their doctors can't make them feel better.
Worker #2: No, that's what the oxycodone is for.
Law Office
Northern California
Older strange employee to new employee: 200 years ago you would have made a great warrior.
Mississauga
Ontario
Canadia
Office worker: Leslie, before you leave, let me see if I have anything for you to sign.
Leslie: You know I'm signatorially challenged.
A&M University
College Station, Texas
Overheard by: Faith
Worker #1: So I spent most of the weekend in the bathroom.
Worker #2: Oh, partying too much?
Worker #1: No, problem with the other end.
Worker #2: Oh, sounds like someone had a case of faucet ass.
Northbrook, Illinois
Overheard by: Not suffering from it
Female coworker, talking about the new waterless urinal installed: I don't understand how it's not gonna smell if you pee in there and no water washes it out.
Male coworker: There's oil in there that rises to the top and keeps the smell from coming back out. I'm about to go try it. Wanna watch?
Manchester, Connecticut
Mailroom guy #1: Man, I like, dislocated two discs in my back.
Mailroom guy #2: Man, I like, dislocated two balls in my pants.
(person nearby laughs)
Mailroom guy #2: Don't laugh! It's true!
Sudbury
Ontario
Canadia
Lesbian #1: You should get a Subaru. Come on…join the club.
Lesbian #2: I don't really want a Subaru.
Angry straight coworker: Don't get a Subaru. Dude, you people take everything! First you take the rainbow. Now Subarus! What the fuck?
Richmond, California
Overheard by: B $
