Office worker #1: Guess what I have?
Office worker #2: Herpes?
Office worker #1: No, actually I have a Snapple lid with random fact #1, can you believe it? The first snapple fact! “Goldfish only have an attention span of 3 minutes.”
(silence)
Office worker #3, a row away: If you had herpes, that would have been more interesing.
Office worker #1: Go to hell.
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/08/goldfish.html
Overheard by: e c.
Coworker #1 about coworker #2: Married man smelling good, that's not right. (pause) Something's going on.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/315010609/yeah-he-showered.html
Overheard by: that cologne doesn't smell good, so there's no danger
Coworker #1, entering elevator: I hope there's no smell today.
Coworker #2: Yeaaah.
Ottawa
Canadia
Female coworker: You've got those magic fingers.
Male coworker: You've got to wiggle it and jiggle it and shake it a bit.
Female coworker: Well, come back here to the stockroom and show me how you do it.
New England
Female coworker #1: Ohmigod, my plant's dead…
Female coworker #2: I can't believe you whined and complained for months about how you didn't get a “new hire plant” like everyone else, and when you get one… a week later it's dead because you don't water it.
Female coworker #3: I heard all these plants are responsibility tests. If you kill the plant, you're gone.
Boss over intercom to coworker #1: Report to my office immediately.
Female coworker #2: He knows about the plant.
Female coworker #1: Fuck.
McKinney, Texas
Male coworker, carrying apple and pear into break room: Who took my banana?
Ridge, New York
Coworker to another: Hey, man, if you want to call 'em ramparts, you call 'em ramparts.
Pasadena, California
Blonde coworker: And I was like “way to throw me under the rug!”
Brunette coworker: Umm… it's “under the bus.” “Way to throw me under the bus.”
Male coworker: Get it? It hurts. If you were thrown under a bus it would hurt.
Blonde coworker: Well, it would hurt if someone was walking on the rug and you was under it!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: jen
Worker #1: We grilled chicken hearts the other night.
Worker #2: Really? Like, how big are they?
Worker #1, gesturing: Not very. We have to make several skewers full because they are so little.
Worker #2: Do you even know how many chickens it takes to get one heart? Poor things!
Virginia
Male coworker #1: Megan* says she's going to Taco Bell for lunch and she hopes nobody is pissed.
Male coworker #2: Why would someone be pissed?
Male coworker #1: Cause she knows that you like some Taco Bell.
Male coworker #2: I do,but I certainly am not in the business of depriving people of Taco Bell.
Lynchburg, Virginia
