Normal coworker: Jackie* is in Vegas, isn't she?
Less normal coworker: Yeah.
Normal coworker: I wonder how hot it is there?
Less normal coworker: Probably about 107 degrees.
Normal coworker: I don't think I could handle that kind of heat. I would have to stay inside the whole time.
Less normal coworker: Nah, you just sit out under the flamingos and let them pee water on ya. Keeps ya cool.
Ypsilanti, Michigan
Overheard by: Cube Dweller
New coworker: My name's Dave* and my eccentricity is I like everything in paper, not plastic.
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: dying a slow death here
Office drone #1: Would you go get me a coffee, please?
Office drone #2: What?
Office drone #1: I asked you to get me some coffee.
Office drone #2: (silence)
Office drone #1: I did say “please.”
Office drone #2: Okay, then. (pause) No, thank you.
Manhattan, New York
Woman #1: Oh, look at the pretty rock!
Woman #2: Um… that’s part of a blueberry muffin.
Woman #1: Oh.
Monument Circle
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Gitcher Eyes Checked
Cougar colleague: It was so embarrassing–I was putting cream on my buns…
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confused but amused
Ditzy office manager to coworker: I think I just had, what do you call it, a brain hernia…
San Bernardino, California
Overheard by: Mister Chief
Coworker #1: Did you have the pleasure of talking to that nasty woman on the phone?
Coworker #2: Believe me, I've had plenty of nasty women this week.
Richmond, Virginia
Female drone: Would you give that to me now, please? I really need it.
Male drone: I already did it; look again.
Female drone: Oh! Oh! There it is! It went straight into my junk!
Eldersburg, Maryland
Overheard by: irrelevant
Coworker: I sound like such a dumbass, but I swear I’m not!
1400 Penn Avenue
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Black co-worker: Hey, how are you doing today?
Redneck co-worker: If I were you, I wouldn’t speak to me today.
Black co-worker: Why is that? What’s wrong with you?
Redneck co-worker: I’m not too fond of you black people today. That damn Tiger Woods has won another Major.
Black co-worker: Oh, that’s all? Well, what are you going to do when we take over NASCAR?
Redneck co-worker: [Bewildered silence]
1000 Jerry St. Pe Highway
Gulf Coast, Mississippi
Overheard by: The Guy sitting next to the idiot
