Coworkers

Two co-workers watch a woman showering in a window across the street.

Female co-worker: Is she dry showering?
Guy: No, there’s soap on her legs. Wow, those are America’s cleanest boobs.
Female co-worker: You can’t see soap from here.
Male co-worker: You can with the binoculars in my office.

Male co-worker runs to get the binoculars.

Female co-worker: Uh oh. She just cleaned somewhere funny.
Boss: What’s going on?… Ahh, a nudie with fake boobies! I love a good set of fake knockers!
Male co-worker: She has a scar on her butt.
Boss: I think that’s a tattoo.
Female co-worker: She should get that checked out.

225 North Michigan
Chicago, Illinois

Worker bee: I won’t spend 60 dollars on something I can’t shoot my friends with.

11145 Westheimer Road
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: me either

Rep #1: I hope we won't be bored today.
Rep #2: Don't worry, I brought things to entertain us.
Rep #1: Does that mean you are finally going to sleep with me today?

Sarasota, Florida

Overheard by: Scared of entertainment

Employee #1: Do we have any Band-Aids in the back?
Manager, after long pause: Uh…I don’t think so.
Employee #2: Oh, Susan* said we did. I need one.
Manager: Um…I’m pretty sure we don’t, but I’ll look.

After disappearing in the back for 5 minutes, manager comes back out to the register.

Employee #1: So there were none back there?
Manager: Nope.
Employee #2: I’m sure there are some. Not even in the first aid kit?
Manager, after another long pause: Oooh! Band-Aids! I thought you said, “Mayonnaise”!

Victoria’s Secret
New Mexico

Phone drone #1: So this guy’s going to call the Better Business Bureau because I suck.
Phone drone #2: You suck?
Phone drone #1: I don’t just suck, I suck!
Phone drone #2: You suck what? Don’t answer that.

175 South Third Street
Columbus, Ohio

Co-worker #1: You smell of fish!
Co-worker #2: I’ve been at a fishmongers!
Co-worker #1: Oh! I thought it was an urban myth but they actually do sell fish at a fishmongers?
Co-worker #2: …What?

Commercial Road
Hull, East Yorkshire
UK

Overheard by: Simon Green

Co-Worker #1: You said if I was bored, I could go through the packing slips, right?
Co-Worker #2: Sure, go ahead.
Co-Worker #1: And you want me to get rid of the ones that are older than six months, right?
Co-Worker #2: Right.
Co-Worker #1: So throw them out?
Co-Worker #2: Yup.
Co-Worker #1: In the garbage?
Co-Worker #2: Uh-huh.
Co-Worker #1: Should I bring them out back to the recycling cans?
Co-Worker #2: You could put them in that recycling bin right under your desk if you wanted to take the time to sort them. We only recycle white paper.
Co-Worker #1: So should I put them in the dumpster out back?
Co-Worker #2: Really, throw them out in any garbage can you want. It. Doesn’t. Matter.

150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut

Telemarketing instructor #1, analyzing recorded call: Does heavy breathing count as “filler language”?
Telemarketing instructor #2: Not at this call center.

Boston, Massachusetts

Waiter to other servers: Okay, just so everyone knows, there's a Sasquatch loose somewhere in the bathroom.

Chicago, Illinois

Co-worker #1: Can I use the abbreviation RNA?
Co-worker #2: You mean, like the stuff in your blood?
Co-worker #3: What’s the abbreviation for “the customer’s a jerk”?

962 Coronado Boulevard
Universal City, Texas