Woman #1: Hey!
Woman #2, coming out of the employee restroom: Hey! Oh, I was just thinking about you!
Woman #1: Wait, weren't you just in the restroom?
Bobst Library, NYU
Woman to HR director: Can I get workers compensation for pulling my twat muscle?
HR director: What’s a twat muscle?
Dallas, Texas
Budget director: Do you smell that? It smells like car wax. What is that smell?
Executive director: The interoffice memo…
436 6th Avenue North
Nashville, Tennessee
Girl #1: Did somebody fart?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Oh wait, never mind, that's just somebody's food.
New York City, New York
Receptionist: A patient just tried to cancel her appointment that's in two hours. Said she was stuck in Dallas. I told her we didn't have any openings for a month.
Coworker: Why? We have openings tomorrow.
Receptionist: Because she's not in Dallas, she called from home. Caller id, helloooo. She'll be here…
Dental Office
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Caller ID…hellloooo
Woman #1: I hate living alone.
Woman #2: I love living alone.
Woman #1: It sucks going home to nobody, having nobody to talk to — it just sucks.
Woman #2: You want to live together?
Woman #1: No!
Motorola, 1301 East Algonquin Road
Schaumburg, Illinois
Female coworker: Freeze gopher! Let's get a move on…
Male coworker: Pardon?
Female coworker: You're walking extremely slowly, and I'm stuck walking behind you. If I had a gun I'd have shot you by now.
Calgary
Canadia
Coworker: I can't believe you used to swallow them!
Hicksville, New York
Overheard by: HR Laughing
Moderately surprised office person: Huh? A fly just flew up my nose!
Barely interested office person: Is that right?
Moderately surprised office person: Yeah! It was buzzing around and went right in my nose!
Barely interested office person: That must have been surprising.
Moderately surprised office person: It was!
Barely interested office person: I have some dead flies in some vinegar over here.
Melville, New York
Overheard by: Just buzzing
