Photo coordinator looking for staples: Why are there paper clips in this box?
Photo editor: What?
Photo coordinator: See — it says ‘staples,’ but there are paper clips in here.
Photo editor: Dude, it’s from Staples. You need the box that says ‘staples’ twice.
Prudential Plaza
Chicago, Illinois
Attorney to another: You are always a lot of fun when your dress ends up around your waist. Or your head. Or your feet.
1 Indiana Square
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Amanda
Mexican worker: Does my banana look sick to you?
Coworker: I am not looking over there.
306 Oak Court
Beavercreek, Ohio
Coworker #1: What happened to the mailbox?
Coworker #2: What about it?
Coworker #1: It’s gone!
Coworker #2: Oh, yeah…
2201 Commerce Drive
Fremont, Ohio
Guy: I used to work in an inner city office.
Girl: Really?
Guy: Yeah, I learned lots of words from them. Like ‘booyah’. It means ‘good.’ Like, ‘That is booyah!’
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: The Intern
Coworker #1, walking down hallway: What's so wrong with beating dead whores?
Coworker #2: I don't really know what to say right now.
Coworker #1: See! In this morning's meeting nobody else said anything about it either. I was just saying that we need to stop talking about the budget because it's like beating dead whores. Like that saying goes. But the conversation just kind of stopped.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Jen
Dumb girl: I'm really good at those things.
Supportive guy: What things?
Dumb girl: Those things, like with the letters. Like Roy G Biv and stuff like that.
Supportive guy: Oh, like mnemonic devices. That's good.
Asshole guy: So do you know what an i-d-i-o-t is?
Dumb girl: Uh… (thinks)… Shit! No!
Asshole guy: That's, like, really important for our job. You have to know an i-d-i-o-t.
Dumb girl: But I don't! Crap!
Hempstead Turnpike
Wantagh, New York
Overheard by: Kim, the Anit-Idiot.
Lunch room breaker #1: The irony is that she was the only one that knew the Heimlich maneuver, but she couldn’t do it because she was six months pregnant.
Dumb dumb: So, why couldn’t she do it?
Lunch room breaker #1: Do you know what the Heimlich maneuver is?
Pine Street
San Francisco, California
Gay admin: I’m thinking of taking a gym class at a community college next quarter. What do you think I should take?
Straight admin: Badminton. Yep, definitely badminton. That’s nice and gay.
Sunnyvale, California
New girl to male employee: Teach me how to say something sexy in Spanish.
Male employee: Okay. Like what?
New girl: How about “put your dick in my mouth”?
Spa
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Can't Wait Till i Leave
