Woman #1: Sometimes I like doing jobs like this.
Woman #2: Like what?
Woman #1: You know, mindless hand jobs.
380 Lafayette Road East
St. Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: Krista
Woman #1: Sometimes I like doing jobs like this.
Woman #2: Like what?
Woman #1: You know, mindless hand jobs.
380 Lafayette Road East
St. Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: Krista
Coworker #1: Yeah, Sue* and I were in the middle of a big drug deal this morning.
Coworker #2: Nice! I walked through a prostitution ring on my way here.
2110 Western Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Coworker #1: So, if I bought a bottle of vodka…
Coworker #2: It's 9:25 am.
Manhattan, New York
Sales manager: So as of our next issue, the logo will no longer be purple.
Rep: How come?
Sales manager: Because purple is associated with homosexuals.
Rep: I thought rainbow colors were the gay color tip-off?
Sales manager: No, it’s purple. And I know that’s true because that’s what they paint their front doors.
Rep: I have never heard that. Why would they do that?
Sales manager: So they can identify themselves to each other.
Rep: Oh, I get it. So when they’re driving around the city they can say, “Oh look, Dwayne, a purple door! Let’s stop in and get some decorating tips!”
600 East Main Street
Louisville, KY
Female office worker #1, about anal sex: I've never had a guy even try… I wonder if it's because of us, or the guys we date?
Female office worker #2: I don't think it's me. It must be the guys. You go for the “sensitive type.”
Female office worker #1: Yeah … and you go for douchebags.
Commonwealth Ave
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Oh Dear
Coworker #1: With all the rain we've been getting, I bet the streams are running full.
Coworker #2: That depends on how much beaver action there's been. (pause) Did I seriously just say that?
Colchester, Vermont
Overheard by: hddesc
TV host: I wish they'd separate my penne and my quiche.
TV producer: I know.
West Olympic Blvd
Los Angeles, California
Guy at urinal: Hi, Jim. Bad result over the weekend, wasn't it?
Jim: Yes, shame really.
Guy at urinal: Yeah.
(pause)
Jim: These tablets the doctor has me on really have improved my flow. It feels so good now.
Guy at urinal: Ummm? That's nice.
Exeter
Devon
England
Overheard by: Minding my own business
Woman #1, in line to get coffee: Do you smell dog? I smell dog. Like, a wet dog or something.
Woman #2: Oh, it's probably my pants. My dog slept on them last night and I didn't have a clean pair, so I wore them.
Woman #1: Yeah. It looks like you have some dog hair on them too.
Woman #2: It will probably just brush off by the end of the day. (walks away nonchalantly with coffee in hand)
Downtown Omaha, Nebraska
Person #1: Remember our old boss that nine people quit because of?
Person #2: Um, how could I not remember crazy McBitcherson?
Person #1: Well, two people have already quit because of her at her new job. My roommate works there.
Person #2: Wow. Someone should start a blog about her and entitle it: “That bitch is whack”.
Person #1: I’m on it!
Washington, DC
