Male staff #1: Hey, check out that butterfly on the window sill.
Male staff #2: Wow! That’s cool. Man, I’m not trying to sound girly, but butterflies are beautiful. I have this bush outside my house that they just love, and it’s so cool to watch them.
Male staff #1: Yeah, man, seriously. I’m not going to be covering my car with butterfly stickers, but butterflies do kick ass.
Male staff #2: Totally.
10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Overheard by: a butterfly
Co-worker #1: Your brain still not working?
Co-worker #2: Not so much.
Co-worker #3: Mine’s not really working either.
Co-worker #1: Mine’s working, it just keeps timing out.
659 Mimosa Boulevard
Roswell, Georgia
Partner: Do cats pee?
Erie, Pennsylvania
Newly married office girl: Swallowing is not my idea of a vacation.
Bala Cynwyd, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: these walls are thin
Coworker #1: So, you’re saying that in the movie he twisted the towel so tight it became a sword?
Coworker #2: Yeah, like, if you spin a towel tight enough it gets rigid, but if you put Kung Fu in it, it’s like a weapon.
Government agency
Washington, DC
Overheard by: kung fu master
Coworker #1: Did you have a good vacation?
Coworker #2: Of course! Is there any such thing as a bad vacation?
Coworker #3: Well, my friend fell off a train once… in Thailand.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: jessie
Woman: …and by “different,” I don’t mean “gay.”
Co-worker: I need about 15 to 20 minutes of your time to understand physically what’s expected from your eyes.
Man: I’m the Imelda Marcos of ties.
10877 Watson Road
St. Louis, Missouri
Office lackey #1: I need some experience before I apply to pharmacy school.
Office lackey #2: Have you considered a crack den?
Office lackey #1, thoughtfully: I wonder what UIC would think of that. “I interned at a meth lab last summer…”
DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: University Lackey
Cube dweller: I don’t see why people need fertility counseling. They should just buy some cheap liquor and rent a Camaro. It worked for everyone I know on the South Side.
Norman, Oklahoma
Co-Worker #1: Weather is the great conversational equalizer.
Co-Worker #2: Yeah.
Co-Worker #1: ‘Cause every place has weather. And chipmunks. But nobody ever talks about chipmunks.
1593 Galbraith Avenue
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Playtah
