Grad student to undergrad: So I think we’ll probably end up selling our plane tickets, since we kind of need the money.
Professor nearby: Damn it!
Grad student: Um, should I, not sell the tickets, then?
Professor: Oh, oh no, sorry. It’s just that I don’t think I should wear my bathing suit to work anymore.
North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Skanky girl #1: I’m never wearing miniskirts again!
Skanky girl #2: Why is that?
Skanky girl #1: Well, every time I’m dancing in one, someone tries to sodomize me.
Skanky girl #2: Oh, I hate that–it’s so rude.
DMV
New York
Coworker #1: I don’t have a wardrobe.
Coworker #2: Why not?
Coworker #1: I just don’t like them.
Coworker #2: Well, where do you keep your suit?
Coworker #1: Well… that’s a good question, where is actually my suit?
Yorkshire
England
Intern: It was an honor to wear your sister’s undergarments.
Las Vegas, Nevada
19-year-old receptionist to middle aged salesman: I love your hat -I would totally wear it if I were drunk.
111 Street, Fort St John
British Columbia, Canadia
Overheard by: Mama C
IT guy to IT manager: Nice shoes, are they new?
IT manager: Yeah, but they’re too clean and white. They need to be scuffed up more.
IT guy: You know what they should do? They should make the seven-year old Taiwanese kids who sew these wear them for a few days first.
IT manager: Yeah, that’s perfect. Pre-scuffed shoes. They’d be flopping around in shoes way too big, but at least they’d have shoes for a few days.
Good Hope Road
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Internet sweatshop girl: Its getting cold in here!
Internet sweatshop guy: Does it make you want to put on all of your clothes?
Hell’s Kitchen
New York City, New York
Manager of consultant team: Okay everyone, we’re going into the office tomorrow.
Consultant: Aw man, that means we have to wear real clothes!
Mount Laurel, New Jersey
Overheard by: I hate that
Manager: Never before have the seat of my pants been so flown upon.
Record Exchange
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jonny the Shiv
Man diva: I mean, I cannot believe my little brother didn’t notice that stain for five hours! How can you think it’s water when it doesn’t dry for five hours?
Girl: Well maybe he wasn’t paying attention. It was your grandfather’s funeral.
Man diva: Ohmigod it’s like seven inches across the cuff!
Girl: I’m sure there’s somewhere you can still wear them?
Man diva: Yeah, if somebody has a stain party!
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Dry cleaner no good
