Male coworker to female coworker: I like your shirt.
Female coworker: Thanks. It's new.
Male coworker: The ruching makes your boobs look really perky.
(awkward pause)
Male coworker: I guess now would be a good time to tell you I'm gay.
Female worker: Yeah, you had me at “ruching”
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: It's pretty obvious
Receptionist: He needs a control top. His boobs were going everywhere!
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Male coworker: It smells like poop in here.
Male boss: It's my pants!
Male coworker: Uhh…
Male boss: It's not my fault! You don't believe me? Smell them!
Female coworker: Um, okay. (smells pants) Ewww, sick.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: not smelling
Manager to another: No Pants Tuesday. Think of how productive we would be without the confining feeling of slacks! You don't even have to wear dungarees, or as I like to call them, “dungs.”
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Andréa Cecil
Boss: Why is this steamer hanging out on the sales floor?
Employee: Just in case some customers want to wear their clothes out, we can steam them.
Boss: Well, why don't I just walk around with my dick out in case someone wants to suck it?
Coconut Grove, Florida
Receptionist: You think that's ghetto? This morning I straight-up taped my bra straps to my shoulders! Here, listen. (crinkles tape under shirt)
Spicewood Springs Road
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Nator
Peon: What colors do we use for the Fourth of July?
Briarcrest & 29th
Bryan, Texas
Male coworker #1: I don't care how much of a bitch she is, her tits are unbelievable.
Male coworker #2: Shit, did you see that red thing she was wearing yesterday? I had to jerk off in the bathroom during lunch.
Female coworker they're talking about: You guys are aware that I can hear you, right?
Male coworker #1: In our own defense, we weren't aware of that.
Chelmsford, Massachusetts
Overheard by:
(Tom* is juggling plastic Easter eggs).
Chris: Dude, you have to make up a clown name for yourself.
Tom: How about (pause) Naughty T?
Chris: Dude! Nobody is going to hire you for parties if your name is Naughty T!
Tom: I can be an adult clown. You know, half naked.
Vandam Street
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Soapnana
Secretary: I have to wear this scarf over my shirt because the shirt is made for women with cleavage. But since I don’t have any, I wear the scarf. All my cleavage is in my butt!
Wenatchee, Washington
