Male suit: You and your va-jay-jay…
Lady suit: Yeah, so? Guys are obsessed with their dicks. — I’m just protective of my va-jay-jay.
Male suit: That’s ’cause it’s just out there hanging around — anything could just snag it! At least yours is tucked away.
Lady suit: Anything could snag it? Oh my god. Like a hang nail?!
Male suit: Yes.
Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Coworker on phone: We had hot sweaty sex, but it was okay.
Lafayette, California
English teacher: I didn’t actually get kicked out of the zoo, but they did scold me and said I couldn’t come back anymore.
West Santa Clara Street
Arcadia, California
Overheard by: What did he do to those animals?
Mother being questioned: I don't understand why I'm here. I don't know what I did wrong.
Detective: I'm not saying it's right or wrong. But sometimes you just gotta clean your kid.
Police Station
Los Angeles, California
Person #1: I just read that there has been a 104% increase in the numbers of lost or stolen cows recovered in Texas and Oklahoma.
Person #2: So they found 4 more cows than were actually lost?
650 California Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Gilligan
Truck driver: Back in the old days, Larry* used to take bribes, Larry used to give bribes, Larry ran the company the way it should be run!
Dispatcher: Do you know what you just said?
Truck driver: I know what I just said!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: extracaffeinated
Boss on phone: Yeah, you know that thing you removed? Well it's growing back, and it's irritated.
Los Angeles, California
Co-worker #1: I have to crawl under this desk so much my knees hurt.
Co-worker #2: Oh, so that’s why you got promoted.
2105 Bancroft Way
Berkeley, California
Employee #1: Oh my, that Rue McClanahan did not age well.
Employee #2: But Betty White kept it. Good for her.
Brea, California
Overheard by: rehey
Employee #1, realizing Kevin Costner's Swing Vote billboard was being taken down: Thank god I don't have to look at his big head any more!
Employee #2: Yeah…it was kinda creepy.
Los Angeles, California
