Police sergeant: Have you done those sexual child abuse talks at the school yet?
Civilian employee: Yes, and several of the children need to file a report.
Police sergeant: Great! Now we have more work. Whose idea was it to do those talks?
8620 California Avenue
South Gate, California
Director: For your baby shower, are people buying pink or blue?
VP: Blue. Doctor says there’s a 50% chance it will be a boy.
San Fernando Boulevard
San Jose, California
Office mate #1: My brother's girlfriend brought dinner over last night.
Office mate #2: Is it weird–since you guys are twins– that your brother's girlfriend knows exactly what you look like naked?
Santa Monica, California
Worker: Hey, it’s Friday! You should go drink something in the lounge before you leave. Almost everyone’s in a meeting. I’ve already had two beers.
Intern: Haha, um… I’m actually underage.
Worker: Oh, who cares?
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: not in meeting
Coworker #1: Haha–you have to use the little boy urinal.
Coworker #2: That's okay. I need the extra clearance.
Woodland Hills, California
Overheard by: Envious
Boss: We need to account for shipping to the Stans. You know what the Stans are, right?…You know, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iranistan, Kakistan, Islamastan…
Employees: …
10418 Donner Pass Road
Truckee, California
Project manager: From now on, when we staple, we do it in the top quarter inch of the page.
San Francisco International Airport
San Francisco, California
Foreign producer on phone: I tell him it’s okay if you’re dead… We’ll make from him a midget…
Film studio
Hollywood, California
Female coworker #1: You need more man-attention than I do, even!
Female coworker #2: Well, you know Paul is coming over this weekend.
Female coworker #1: Who's that?
Female coworker #3: Her booty call.
Female coworker #2: Yeah, he's cool, you should totally call him.
Female coworker #1: Ew! I am not calling your booty call.
Arcata, California
Overheard by: Jessica
Office chick: You know what the best part of getting McDonald's is? Just when you think you're done, you find five or six bonus fries in the bottom of the bag.
Office dude: It's the simple pleasures for you, huh?
Office chick: Oh yeah, nothing better! Something small and salty to snack on!
Office dude, filled with innuendo: In that case, I have another bonus fry for you to enjoy.
Office chick: Seriously? I think you just admitted to having a small dick.
Figueroa St
Los Angeles, California
