Office girl #1: Obviously, I just brewed coffee, right? So of course she has to be the first to get some. Well, I walk into the kitchen and she's facing the freezer with the freezer door open, and she has the coffee pot up to her nose, and she's smelling it. I have no idea what the hell was going on.
Office girl #2: What the eff?
Office girl #1: Yeah… I'm thinking that maybe… No, no, I really have no idea.
Sacramento, California
Attorney: Is this the drawer that’s broken?
Co-worker: Yes. I’ve already told you how to fix it. I mean, it’s not as serious as cancer.
Attorney: Thank you for that assessment.
1999 Harrison Street
Oakland, California
Guy #1: I heard she is a squatter.
Guy #2: Really, she has no place to live?
Guy #1: No, she squats above the toilet seat and goes to the bathroom. It gets everywhere so HR is going to talk to her.
Guy #2: Can you imagine what the bathroom in her house must look like?
9740 Irvine Boulevard
Irvine, California
Co-worker: My fiance and I are going to LA this weekend, and I’m trying to lose a pound or two before then so my friends don’t think I’m pregnant.
1600 Amphitheatre Parkway
Mountain View, California
Coworker #1: Mayonnaise or Miracle Whip?
Coworker #2: Miracle Whip. If I'm going to eat a bowl of mayonnaise, I'm going totally cracker–Iowa style.
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Amused and Grossed Out
Secretary: What I’d give for an eight-year-old vagina again…
Orange County, California
Assistant: I don’t think you’re crazy. I may vomit on you, but I don’t think you’re crazy.
9050 Washington Boulevard
Culver City, California
Male student entering Principal’s office: Someone’s been gluing pennies to the urinal again!
Arcadia, California
Overheard by: The Know It All
Male employee: This chocolate is divine.
Female employee: What did you say?
Male employee: This chocolate is… divine?
Emeryville, California
Coworker to boss: I hope he doesn't go because his protruding nose hairs are very distracting.
Los Angeles, California
