Boss: Why is this steamer hanging out on the sales floor?
Employee: Just in case some customers want to wear their clothes out, we can steam them.
Boss: Well, why don't I just walk around with my dick out in case someone wants to suck it?
Coconut Grove, Florida
Boss: Then Megan* and Elizabeth* can review it.
Lisa: Don't you mean Courtney*?
Boss: Oops! Excuse me. You're right.
Lisa: I know; We Americans all sound alike.
Boss: No, not really. I do the same thing with my kids.
Lisa: Are they all the same gender?
Boss: Not at all. I've got three of them–one of each.
Lisa: Okay. One's male and one's female. What's the third one?
Boss: (silence)
Redwood City, California
Manager: I remember him when he was still an exchange student, what do you call those?
Intern: Interns?
Oakland, California
Boss lady: So this list needs to be redone and given back to me. The deadline is July 1st.
New worker: But it's August 10th!
Boss lady: Oh, honey, you work for the Government now, nobody gets in a hurry when they work for the Government.
Raleigh,North Carolina
Forgetful manager: Fool me once… Um… Shame on me… Fool me twice… And… I'll have to file a disciplinary report on you.
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: clang
Underling: I had something I need to talk to you about, but I can't remember it now.
Boss (grinning): Well, I'm not in your head so…
Underling: I need you inside my head.
Boss (grimacing): Uh…I don't think I want…
Underling (interrupting): No, the work side, not the porn side.
Route 9
Framingham, Massachusetts
Boss: So what did you think of the meeting?
Underling: It was pretty good -he seemed relatively accommodating and…
Boss: (stares hard at underling)
Underling: Ummmmm?
Boss: Oh yeah, sorry. I farted.
Bay and King
Toronto, Canadia
Overheard by: Wow.
Boss: So, where did Mike* go?
Underling: He had to go home. Some pet emergency. He said there’s an unidentified liquid coming out of his cat’s ass.
Boss: Well, that’s an excuse I’ve never heard before…
Cypress Street
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: I didn’t need to know that
Underling to boss, incredulous: The lord was cock-blocking you?!
Boss: Sure! It’s in the bible!
Los Angeles, California
Lady peon: I had a third thing to mention to you.
Manager: Okay, go ahead.
Lady peon: When I was on the phone with Susan*, she got mad at me. She told me to chill in a very inappropriate tone.
Manager: Uh-huh.
Lady peon: I think she’ll sabotage your party over this. I think she’s gone around the bend.
Manager: You think she’s gone around the bend?
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: Making Copies
