Boss: This tastes like ass.
Worker: How do you know what ass tastes like?
Boss: Because I was drunk and missed.
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Boss: This tastes like ass.
Worker: How do you know what ass tastes like?
Boss: Because I was drunk and missed.
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Black boss: I just found out I'm white!
White employee: Is there any way for me to properly respond to that?
Clearwater, Florida
Overheard by: Cube Dweller
Manager of maintenance staff, yelling to distant peons: Have you seen a bag with two turkey basters and a jar of vaseline?
Apartment Complex
Kansas City, Missouri
Employee: So how'd the meeting go?
Boss: Sharon touches me a lot. I tried not to sit near her.
Washington, DC
Manager: We need a picture of the tiger playing with his ball.
Peon: Yea, that would be great.
Manager: People would say this is the best webcast ever.
Peon: People would say, “That's cool, look at the tiger playing with his ball.”
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: WaitingForWork
Young waitress, dreamily: My friends and I just love that Joran Van Der Sloot.
Manager: The fact that he's accused of murder doesn't phase you?
Waitress: Only makes him hotter! (sighs)
Waiter: The next time I say women are stupid and you argue with me, I'm bringing this up, you know.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Male coworker: It smells like poop in here.
Male boss: It's my pants!
Male coworker: Uhh…
Male boss: It's not my fault! You don't believe me? Smell them!
Female coworker: Um, okay. (smells pants) Ewww, sick.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: not smelling
Boss to peon: Because I don't want you edgy. I want you your usual fuzzy self when I beat you up.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: happy she is always edgy
Annoyed boss, barging in to cubicle: You ignored my call?
Worker, glancing at phone: Huh? Oh…yeah, a little bit.
Morris Plains, New Jersey
Female manager to peon: Sometimes I violate myself.
Nashua, New Hampshire
