Girl: My mom dropped a plate and it shattered all over the floor and she cut her foot pretty bad. I was cleaning up the pieces…
Guy: Was it a paper plate?
(girl stares at him)
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: And he's not even blonde…
Girl: My mom dropped a plate and it shattered all over the floor and she cut her foot pretty bad. I was cleaning up the pieces…
Guy: Was it a paper plate?
(girl stares at him)
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: And he's not even blonde…
Woman #1: How's it going?
Woman #2, sighing: I'm swimming through the mess…got my fingers in the dyke.
Boston, Massachusetts
Coworker, eating wasabi peas: I was about to put two big ones in my mouth!
Hawthorne, New York
Executive admin, about 10-K report: It's double sided, and so thick! I don't remember it being so thick! And double-sided!
Baltimore, Maryland
Waitress: (lifts heavy box and grunts)
Waiter: Are you okay?
Waitress: Yeah, I think my balls just dropped.
Restaurant
Ohio
Tech #1 to admin, while fixing cabling issue: You want me to pull it out now?
Tech #2, walking by: Uhhh…
Monroe, North Carolina
Overheard by: Wary Technician
Debt collector: Yes, sweetie, those are like the big balls grandma has…
Nebraska
Chick #1: That’s a really nice dress. How much did it cost?
Chick #2: Oh, um, $3500.
Chick #1: $3500! For a sun dress?!
Chick #2: Oh! You said “dress.” I thought you said “breasts.”
3200 Fifth Avenue
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Snarfed my Soda
Sales manager: You know, they just don't have that old-time VD anymore. Now it just kills you or, makes your dick explode.
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Senior: Isn’t “Butternut Bread” a brand? I know there is Mrs Baird’s, Iron Kids… Sunbeam…
Intern: Oh, there’s a strip club around here with a one-armed stripper named Sunbeam… But we call her “Nub”.
Senior: [Silence.]
Houston, Texas
