Coworker on phone: What? So even for a million pounds you wouldn't let her sit on your face?!
Soho
London
England
Coworker on phone: What? So even for a million pounds you wouldn't let her sit on your face?!
Soho
London
England
Customer #1: I don't know how she thinks she's hot.
Customer #2: Who?
Customer #1: Sweet tits.
Customer #2: (mumbles obscenities)
Customer #1: Well, I don't know what to tell you, you're the one who always dates mean, nasty women.
Target
Evansville, Indiana
Overheard by: REDman
Coworker #1: I love Angie's box.
Coworker #2: No way, Kat's box is tons better. It would kill Angie's box in a fight.
Coworker #1: But Angie's box is filled with those special Oreo balls!
Pensacola, Florida
Overheard by: New Girl
Quiet female coworker: I hope my placenta's huge!
Downtown Albany, New York
Overheard by: Oddly enough, I don't
Cop: Oh my god! This peanut butter pie is so good, I just want to rub it all over my ass and dance around the lobby!
Tanner Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Xtina
Front desk agent: Oh, I forgot. I am Jack Martin*. I am too masculine and my chest is too hairy to let your dainty, girl hands touch my project.
Austin, Texas
Employee: I think I'm too aggressive.
Manager: It's like you have vomit of the mouth. I mean diarrhea of the mouth. Which I guess is like vomit of the butt.
Dallas, Texas
Old drone #1: In my father's day all the men used to get in a circle and measure each other.
Old drone #2: Well, women do that stuff all the time.
Young drone: What?
Old drone #2: Yeah, don't you be askin' your girlfriends if somethin makes your boobs or butt look big?
Young drone: Yeah, but we don't sit there and see who has the biggest vagina. Gross!
Old drone #2: Yeah, well, you wouldn't want to win that contest.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Attorney to older male clerk: Remember, they have to be issued before April!
Female paralegal to older male clerk: You're gonna have to show cleavage at the court!
Older male clerk: I tried that once; they took eight weeks!
Female legal assistant, muttering: There's your mental image for the rest of the day!
Law Offices
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Cubed Up Nearby
Legal secretary: And then the phone calls started to peter out.
Paralegal: What? Peter? As in “dick”?
Legal secretary: No! “Peter out” means “to come slowly to an end.”
Paralegal: Oh. (pauses) Still sounds a lot like a dick.
Greenwood, South Carolina
Overheard by: Wondering if everything has to be naughty
