Boss to others, while riding to lunch: You don't want to eat at Infinity, the only thing on the menu there is penis.
Pittsbrurgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Brad
Boss to others, while riding to lunch: You don't want to eat at Infinity, the only thing on the menu there is penis.
Pittsbrurgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Brad
Female staffer #1: You know what David* said to me? He said, “In case you know anyone who’s having a vasectomy, I have some advice for you to give them.” And then he told me about how they gave him a jock strap to wear after his surgery to keep everything in place, but that the one they gave him was too small. And I said, “David! I don’t want to hear any more!” But he kept talking about how uncomfortable it was to wear a jock strap that was too small for him after having his vasectomy. I was afraid he was going to start describing exactly how his balls were getting squeezed.
Female staffer #2: See, that’s a perfect example of how David is always so passive. If he weren’t so passive, he’d just say, “I want everyone to know I’m hung like a horse.”
10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Male employer: You shaved this morning!
Male employee: Your hands are cold!
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Way Too Early in the Morning
Employee #1: You know that part of your brain that stops you from doing stupid shit?
Employee #2: Nope.
Employee #1: Oh.
Galleria
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: consultantinka
Grad student: I have to scoop my boobs out of my armpit when I lay down.
Charleston, South Carolina
Male postdoc: Are you sure you can’t do this experiment alone tomorrow?
Female postdoc: I’m sure! I’ll ask someone to help! I can’t do it alone! I’m too short! Pretty! Boobs, and stuff!
Physics Lab
Hunter College, New York
Coworker, about truffles for office-sponsored fundraiser: Okay then, so we'll have truffles rolled in espresso, red sprinkles and peanuts…wait, did we scratch the nuts?
Rice Lake, Wisconsin
Lab manager: Well, we'll just keep the one with biggest rack.
Baltimore, Maryland
Office grunt: I do have a great divide!
9350 Wilshire Boulevard
Beverly Hills, California
Overheard by: lonecomic
Guy #1: Dude, can you believe breast pumps cost 350 dollars?
Guy #2, walking by: Why the hell are you looking at breast pumps?
Senior partner: There are some things you should really just not say out loud in the office, man. Come on!
Houston, Texas
