Body Parts

Co-worker #1: We all have icky hairy things.
Co-worker #2: I shave mine.
Co-worker #3: I tried that once, but kept hunching the corners of desks.
Co-worker #1: Okay, so some of us have icky hairy things.

Washington Street
Indianapolis, Indiana

Coworker #1: Ugh. I don't feel like being at work today.
Coworker #2: I know. Don't you ever wish you could just fall out of bed in the morning and break both your legs so you could take a sick day?

Chicago, Illinois

Middle Manager: He wanted to talk about organic augmentation.
Boss: Did you tell him yours was large enough to be one?

2076 South Street
Quantico, Virginia

Coworker: I can't touch that.
Manager, walking by: Whoah… Let him touch it!

Phoenix, Arizona

Gary: Hey Dave, do I need to be more of a dick or less of a dick?
Dave: Nah, the dick quotient is fine, we just need to coordinate ahead of time.

New York City, New York

Overheard by: thenewguy

Elderly lady patient: My eyebrows are growing back. I look like Drew Barrymore.

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Programmer: Oh, thank god! My replacement iPhone. Not having it is like having my arm cut off. (looking at courier, he notices he has a stub instead of his right arm. Embarrassed, he signs for it and tries to hand stylus back to courier's stub. The courier leaves without saying anything)
Programmer: I want to go home now.

Brisbane
Australia

Overheard by: Chris

Products VP: Everyone who makes this crap is just as fucked as we are.
Finance VP: If only no one put this in their mouths…

Elmsford, New York

Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief

Tech #1: Should I bring tools?
Tech #2: Nah, you can use your teeth and fingers.
Tech #1: What do you mean?

Computer Repair Shop
Indiana

Girl: I gave up dick for lent.

Jericho, New York