Annoying cubette: So I say to him: “Look at Lucy*’s toes. Now look at John*’s toes.” And he’s like: “What?” And then he looks and sees he’s got seven of them and he’s like: “Wahhhh!”
Sane cubette: How many cats do you have?
Morris Plains, New Jersey
Overheard by: intern in the next cube
Female employee #1: I thought the least I could do to get ready for my cruise is getting a pedicure.
Female employee #2: Are you going to a bikini wax too?
Female employee #1: No, getting a pedicure is already almost too girly for me.
Female employee #2: C’mon Andrea*, once you have it done, you will be amazed at how neat and pretty it can be down there.
Female employee #1: No way! I like to be “all natural,” including down there if you know what I mean.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Em-bare-ssed
Exec #1: Should we offer 5gb or 25gb packages?
Exec #2: I am in favor of larger packages…
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Slomojamma
Deskie #1: What’s that smell? Sulfur? Rotten eggs?
Deskie #2: I have it figured out: It’s Halloween, and all these girls are walking around with nothing covering areas which haven’t been exposed in public since last Halloween.
Deskie #1: I don’t get why that is relevant.
Front desk, Central Michigan University
Mount Pleasant, Michigan
Overheard by: Not A Deskie
Assistant #1: Do you know what they used to use to get the color in red velvet cake?
Assistant #2: Blood?
Assistant #1: No. Beets.
Assistant #2: That's disgusting.
Supervisor: Compared to your guess?
Sacramento, California
Deli girl: Have you ever seen a beautiful penis? I appreciate what they do, but I don't like to look at them.
Seafood woman: I've seen a beautiful one, but I'm biased, cuz I helped design it.
Deli girl: Um?
Seafood woman: You know, with the piercings, the Prince Albert and the rings. It's pretty.
Tillsonburg
Ontario
Canadia
Female coworker: I like to think that my coworkers don't have genitals.
Mississauga
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: TCon
Coworker to another: You should let him go first, he has a bigger one to pull out.
Los Angeles, California
Boss to web developer: Didn't we do that site for… For… Ugh… You know… Dick bag motherfucker…
Web developer: Um… No… I don't remember doing anything for Dick Bag motherfucker.
Red Bank, New Jersey
Butch chick: I read The Lion and the Mouse when I was young! It's a story about how the lion got a thorn in his paw and the mouse helped him remove it, and they became friends.
Normal chick: What a stupid lion, why didn't he just eat the mouse?
Butch chick: It's a story of morality for children! Help someone, be friendly!
Normal chick: So?
Butch chick: You don't eat your friends!
Borders
Melbourne Central
Australia
Overheard by: Incognito
