Marketing manager: My uncle had a chicken incident, and then he learned to keep his pants on.
Queen Anne Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Marketing manager: My uncle had a chicken incident, and then he learned to keep his pants on.
Queen Anne Avenue
Seattle, Washington
CEO, to no one in particular: So we're talking to this fucking prick up in Alaska, and I keep hearing this whistling. So I say “hey man, what the fuck is that noise? Turns out it's his fucking parrot, so I tell him to kill the fucker. Who has parrots?
Portland, Oregon
Office monkey #1: I am so mad at John. I just scheduled three meetings for him on Thursday morning. Don't ask me how I pulled that rabbit out of my ass!
Office monkey #2: Wow…where'd you get the expression “pulling a rabbit out of your ass?”
Office monkey #1: Because pulling a rabbit out of a hat is easy!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Wondering how to pull a rabbit out…
Worker returning from smoke break: Sorry I'm back so late. I found a dog!
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: I share an office with him
Coworker #1: Are you talking about that chimp attack?
Coworker #2: No, I was talking about my daughter's new baby.
Coworker #1: Oh…sorry, man.
California
Overheard by: Iheareverything
Coworker wandering lobby, on cell: Why are you going to be late this time? What do you mean the camel got loose and knocked over the “wheel of death!”
The Red Brick Hell House
Upper Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Lackey
Young receptionist: I keep finding cat scratches all over me!
Female accounts: Do you even have a cat?
Young receptionist: Yeah, I had to wash him.
Female accounts: Why in the hell would you wash a cat, they're self-cleaning!
Croydon Road
Australia
Co-worker: We had Burger King breakfast in Mexico and it had refried beans and peppers in the eggs.
Manager: They were probably goat’s eggs, not chicken eggs.
9353 Jefferson Highway
Maple Grove, Minnesota
Reporter, explaining “executive session” privilege to another: The mayor could fuck a donkey in executive session, and they wouldn't have to tell me. But if she does it in the regular session, I'll be all over it.
Weatherford, Texas
Overheard by: Roxie
