(Tom* is juggling plastic Easter eggs).
Chris: Dude, you have to make up a clown name for yourself.
Tom: How about (pause) Naughty T?
Chris: Dude! Nobody is going to hire you for parties if your name is Naughty T!
Tom: I can be an adult clown. You know, half naked.
Vandam Street
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Soapnana
Animated black suit: You gotta have benchmarks. What are you gonna measure?
Sweaty white suit: I don’t need to measure.
Animated black suit: You gotta have benchmarks.
Sweaty white suit: My dick is the benchmark. Okay?
Animated black suit: That’s fine. You just gotta have some benchmarks. That’s all I’m saying.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: jjblu
Old drone #1: You really gotta just close your eyes and gulp it down, I find it spicy, although my daughter says it’s bitter.
Old drone #2: Yeah, I like it though, just don’t get any on your dress, it’s a bear to get out of clothes.
Cindel Drive
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Co-worker: You know, you should stay home when you’re sick. You ruined my whole weekend.
Sick co-worker: [Laughs.]Co-worker, enraged: I’m not kidding! You ruined my whole weekend! Stay home next time, damnit!
Jefferson Road
Cookeville, Tennessee
Elderly office assistant to youthful graphic designer: I have to tell you about cabbage, and how nutritious cabbage is…
Water Street
New York City, New York
IT worker: If you use it a whole bunch of times it will become intuitive.
Madison, Connecticut
Cute brunette: I have to buy my 92-year-old grandmother a gift, what should I get her?
Old hag of a coworker: Something perishable.
Downtown Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Rhymes with Regina
Cashier #1, trying to unlock a drawer at the front desk: I… Can’t… Get… The key… To work.
Cashier #2, who recently found out he got his booty-call pregnant: You have to jiggle it, and then pull it out.
Cashier #1, laughing: Cause that has worked so well for you in the past.
Grocery Store
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Loves It!!
Pierced guy to friend: So the moral of the story is: “Don’t fall asleep in Penn Station when Howie Mandel is around”.
Tremont Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Bank president: Lemme tell you something. There’s five key elements to running a company… now what the hell were they?
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
