Employee #1, trying to put flash drive in front USB port: It won't fit.
Employee #2: That's what she said.
Employee #1: Seriously, it's too big!
Employee #2: That's what she said!
Employee #3: Well, try it in the back.
Employee #2: That's what she said!
Employee #1: It's in!
Employee #2: That's what she said!
Employees #1 & #3: Shut up, Dave*!
Port Orchard, Washington
Co-manager to another, during Christmas party: You can't keep on screaming “I need this, I need this” as you pin an employee to your lap!
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Zen
Female office worker to pregnant coworker: His mother said we should wait until we're older to have kids, but she's old. She's 40. I told her that we're 23 and 24. We're of child-bearing age. We're supposed to be having children.
Fleet Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Building super: Never ride the warlock's steed.
Vancouver
Canadia
Peon #1: Stella*, Jack* wants to know if you can come into his office.
Stella*: Sure.
Peon #2: Dun… Dun… Dun…
Peon #3: Just don't close the door.
Peon #1: And don't close your eyes.
Peon #2: And don't put anything in your mouth.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: extremely good advice
Office manager during staff meeting: Children should wash their hands for as long as it takes them to sing the ABCs. For adults, it's Bohemian Rhapsody.
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Lady L
Elected official: I think it's working, but we have to change something.
Casper, Wyoming
Manager to new guy: Come here. I wanna show you something.
Secretary: Don't close your eyes, don't put out your hands, don't put anything in your mouth.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: good advice
Manager, walking past slouching intern: Bad posture ages you.
Intern: It's just I'm not used to this desk thing. Usually I do all my work in bed.
Manager: Don't put that on your resume.
Mt Vernon
Baltimore, Maryland
Girl on cell: Should I do breast and leather?
Cicero Ave
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Am I overdressed?
