Clerk: I’m sorry, ma’am, but these photos are professional. There’s no way I could let you print these without a release form.
Customer, angry: If I didn’t just get out of prison, I would through such a fit!
Mother: Just calm down and walk away.
Cleveland, Ohio
Co-worker #1: I just got this great book you should read. It’s got
everything you always wanted to know about sex. It’s got pictures and
positions and everything.
Co-worker #2: Books are for amateurs. When it comes to sex I’m a pro.
1215 2nd Avenue
Nashville, Tennessee
Office manager: In the event of fire, please use the emergency stair cases. If anyone has any problems with physical exercise–for example, if you’re pregnant–please let me know so I can help you out of the building.
The room full of men burst out laughing. The Office manager simply looked around, confused.
115 Perimeter Center Place, NE
Atlanta, Georgia
Woman: Just open it. If the alarm goes off, then the fat guy will come up and eat something.
343 W 36th Street
New York, New York
CSR: OK, sir, go ahead and click on the logo in the top left of your screen.
Customer, on phone: I don’t see that. I’m on a page that says "Welcome," then "My Profile."
CSR: OK, go ahead and click on "My Profile."
Customer: I don’t see that.
9800 Fredericksburg Road
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: Raydran
Restaurant customer waving to waitress: Check, check!
Waitress: No, ma'am, we don't take checks!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: t bean
Guy at conference table: Kimchi gives you stomach cancer.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Worrying about the Korean Peninsula
Cube dweller: Just don’t go around wearing green tights and you’re good.
Addison, Texas
Woman: So if you’ve never done it before, it’s going to hurt the first time and maybe even bleed a bit.
Man: Uh huh.
Woman: So don’t be afraid. You should try it. It’s definitely worth it.
Other people in elevator shuffle uncomfortably.
Woman: Um…So flossing is crucial to good dental hygiene.
Elevator
Houston, Texas
Peon #1: Yeah, that guy is a real jerk.
Peon #2: What you need is some jerk repellent. Some jerk-be-gone, or some jerk-off. Oh, wait…no.
San Francisco, California
