New bride: So now I am changing my last name to Smith.
Negative co-worker: Oh! You will have problems with identity theft with that name… It's so common.
New bride: Oh no, it's okay, I put my old drivers license in the safety deposit box.
Crooks Road
Troy, Michigan
Foreign boss: [Cynthia], what are you eating?
Veronica: A breakfast burrito.
Foreign boss: Oh, no, [Cynthia]. You will never find a boyfriend.
350 South Beverly Drive
Beverly Hills, California
Overheard by: ben rosman
Coworker #1 (talking about the newly designed official computer desktop wallpapers): I don’t like the word “zero” in the wallpaper. It’s like such a negative number!
Coworker #2: It’s not negative if it’s used in a positive way.
Shubhada Building
Mumbai
India
Overheard by: M
CEO: Always marry for money–the sex is gone from my marriage now, and there's nothing left.
Boston, Massachusetts
Cashier: There'll be somebody out there to help you, but there probably won't be.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Capt Grayson
Clerk: I’m sorry, ma’am, but these photos are professional. There’s no way I could let you print these without a release form.
Customer, angry: If I didn’t just get out of prison, I would through such a fit!
Mother: Just calm down and walk away.
Cleveland, Ohio
Co-worker #1: I just got this great book you should read. It’s got
everything you always wanted to know about sex. It’s got pictures and
positions and everything.
Co-worker #2: Books are for amateurs. When it comes to sex I’m a pro.
1215 2nd Avenue
Nashville, Tennessee
Office manager: In the event of fire, please use the emergency stair cases. If anyone has any problems with physical exercise–for example, if you’re pregnant–please let me know so I can help you out of the building.
The room full of men burst out laughing. The Office manager simply looked around, confused.
115 Perimeter Center Place, NE
Atlanta, Georgia
Woman: Just open it. If the alarm goes off, then the fat guy will come up and eat something.
343 W 36th Street
New York, New York
