Office chick: You know what the best part of getting McDonald's is? Just when you think you're done, you find five or six bonus fries in the bottom of the bag.
Office dude: It's the simple pleasures for you, huh?
Office chick: Oh yeah, nothing better! Something small and salty to snack on!
Office dude, filled with innuendo: In that case, I have another bonus fry for you to enjoy.
Office chick: Seriously? I think you just admitted to having a small dick.
Figueroa St
Los Angeles, California
Tech guy: Yeah, so I tried to open the file, and it said something, something, file can’t open, something.
Client services girl: Gee, thanks, tech.
1619 Broadway
New York, New York
Female attorney to secretary: Even the three-ways are a pain in the butt.
Asheville, North Carolina
Secretary: My mouse stopped working.
Tech guy: Was this after you dropped it?
Secretary: Yes.
Public University
New Jersey
Overheard by: Clark W.
Admin, looking up from newspaper and greeting guest: Hello, Mr Blue. Please have a seat, director Green will be right with you.
Mr Blue: You know, if you were my employee and you were reading the paper at your desk, I would fire you.
Admin: If I were your employee, I would kill myself.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Civil Servant
Secretary (singing to herself to the tune of “If I only had a brain”): If I only had a hammer…if I only had a hammer…
Morris Plains, New Jersey
Manager #1: I really respect the fact that Bill Clinton was a Rhodes scholar. It shows how intelligent he is.
Manager #2: Yeah, me too. I’m terrible with maps. I respect anyone who can read one.
870 Winter Street
Waltham, Massachusetts
Admin on speaker: Can I please have the Electronics department?
Sears rep: Okay, hold for a while.
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Customer: Hey, where's my fucking wasabi, bitch?
Sushi girl: I don't think you asked for…
Manager: I don't know. But I can tell you this–it'll be up your fucking arse if your manners don't improve.
Sushi girl: Wanker!
Manager: Don't swear at work.
Adelaide, Australia
Office drone: Why is everyone staring at me?
Office chick: You're fun to look at.
Mesquite, Nevada
