More Like I Played Hockey with It– Was That Wrong?

Secretary: My mouse stopped working.
Tech guy: Was this after you dropped it?
Secretary: Yes.

Public University
New Jersey

Overheard by: Clark W.

Posted on May 30, 2019
Admins, Education, New Jersey, Questions, Tech People, Technology

And Request to Be Buried with the Paper

Admin, looking up from newspaper and greeting guest: Hello, Mr Blue. Please have a seat, director Green will be right with you.
Mr Blue: You know, if you were my employee and you were reading the paper at your desk, I would fire you.
Admin: If I were your employee, I would kill myself.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Civil Servant

Posted on May 9, 2019
Admins, Comebacks, Death, Hiring & Firing, Indiana

…I Could Get Nailed for the First Time in a While

Secretary (singing to herself to the tune of “If I only had a brain”): If I only had a hammer…if I only had a hammer…

Morris Plains, New Jersey

Posted on May 8, 2019
Admins, Body Parts, Music, New Jersey, Sexuality

Like Now, I Wish I Could Find the Exit

Manager #1: I really respect the fact that Bill Clinton was a Rhodes scholar. It shows how intelligent he is.
Manager #2: Yeah, me too. I’m terrible with maps. I respect anyone who can read one.

870 Winter Street
Waltham, Massachusetts

Posted on April 30, 2019
Admins, General Idiocy, Massachusetts

I’ll Pipe Some Random Noises into Your Earpiece

Admin on speaker: Can I please have the Electronics department?
Sears rep: Okay, hold for a while.

Elmsford, New York

Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief

Posted on March 13, 2019
Admins, Customer Service, New York, On the phone, Service

…That's My Job

Customer: Hey, where's my fucking wasabi, bitch?
Sushi girl: I don't think you asked for…
Manager: I don't know. But I can tell you this–it'll be up your fucking arse if your manners don't improve.
Sushi girl: Wanker!
Manager: Don't swear at work.

Adelaide, Australia