Receptionist: I’m sorry sir, no one at the tower can answer your call right now, there is a quartet singing a valentine on the floor. [pause] No sir, I wouldn’t lie about such a thing.
N. Frontage Road
Jackson, Mississippi
Receptionist: I’m sorry sir, no one at the tower can answer your call right now, there is a quartet singing a valentine on the floor. [pause] No sir, I wouldn’t lie about such a thing.
N. Frontage Road
Jackson, Mississippi
Coworker #1: Mayonnaise or Miracle Whip?
Coworker #2: Miracle Whip. If I'm going to eat a bowl of mayonnaise, I'm going totally cracker–Iowa style.
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Amused and Grossed Out
Employee #1, about former boss: Why is her Facebook picture a bird?
Employee #2: She loved birds. She has a cajillion of them. When she worked here there was bird shit everywhere. There are still some remnants.
Falls Church, Virginia
Overheard by: My desk has a window
Male employee #1: I'm gonna go take a shit.
Female employee: I did not need to hear that.
Male employee #1: Well, it's so you know why I'll be gone so long.
Male employee #2: Well, you could be doing something else…
Kent, Ohio
Employee #1: I don't know why he doesn't like it, it's just vaseline. It's not like I put it on my vagina.
Employee #2: Wow.
Employee #3: She just said that out loud.
Denver, Colorado
Middle-aged project manager: Remember markers?!
Middle-aged web guy: I loved sniffing markers!
Middle-aged project manager: Airplane glue! We had to take my neighbor to the hospital because she got the lid stuck inside her nose from sniffing too hard.
Middle-aged web guy: Haha! I bet that was hard to explain to her parents!
Middle-aged project manager, dreamily: I just sniff paint…
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Unsurprised Temp
Office woman #1: I'm like a Japanese girl. I like everything tiny.
Office woman #2: Everything?
Office woman #1: Yes, I like everything to be tiny.
Office woman #2: Well, I like things to be a nice size.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Office mate #1: My brother's girlfriend brought dinner over last night.
Office mate #2: Is it weird–since you guys are twins– that your brother's girlfriend knows exactly what you look like naked?
Santa Monica, California
Coworker #1: Haha–you have to use the little boy urinal.
Coworker #2: That's okay. I need the extra clearance.
Woodland Hills, California
Overheard by: Envious
Chatty woman: Yeah, my hernia is the size of a baseball! Do you want to touch it?
Younger employee: Uh, no.
Chatty woman: Why not? Man, nobody wants to touch this thing.
Younger employee: Because it's disgusting, that's why!
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: office moneky extraordinaire
