Broker #1: Okay, here's one: would you rather lick the bulge on Jimmy's leg or eat the skin that Richard peeled off his foot last year?
Broker #2: As sick as this sounds, I'd take Jimmy's bulge in a second. I had to sit next to Richard. His foot had a crack in it so deep you could stick a pencil in it.
Chicago, Illinois
Female coworker who never shuts up: I woke up at 9:55 am. Soon as I woke up, I looked at my husband and he looked at me. I said, “did I tell you about the hallway skeleton?” He starting laughing, and I said “it's amazing.” He said, “not now.”
Dublin, Ohio
Office drone to coworker: She had a very busy weekend, but what she was most excited about was the sausage party!
Chicago, Illinois
Young male coworker to another: You are the only cat I wanna pet.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Woman in line at Starbucks, on cell: They stripped me, in the office, to my bra and underwear! (phone beeps) Just a minute. (switches to waiting call) Yeah? Yeah, I can get you an oatmeal.
Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: Jade Buddha
Worker, entering building and chuckling: I already wiped ya clean one time!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Writer: You know what I think? I think Jerry Lewis wakes up every morning just scared out of his mind that they'll actually find a cure for muscular dystrophy.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in five years?
Candidate: Knowing things. Like, knowing knowledge about everything.
Miller Avenue
Fontana, California
Punk chick on her cell: Which one did you pick? Oh, the one that can fuck?
Ralph’s
Los Angeles, California
Boss to underling: I'd better go take my banana skin elsewhere.
Bakersfield, California
