Coworker on phone: By the way, do you know where I can buy some coyote pee?
Warehouse
Illinois
Office girl #1: She talks about him like he poops gold or something. Wouldn't it be great to poop gold?
Office girl #2: Um, no not really.
Office girl #1: Think about it. It's gold.
Office girl #2: Okay, I guess so. But, I mean, would it still smell?
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Peps
Secretary #1: How was your mother's day?
Secretary #2: Oh, my mother is dead.
Secretary #1: I know. (hyena laugh)
Townsend St
San Francisco, California
Co-owner of company to underling: Was she able to tell that you were vegetarian by looking at your fingers?
Branchburg, New Jersey
Data analyst, yelling: Listen… Listen! (pause, then whispering) Ice, ice baby…
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: data monkey
Female account manager: So I'm going to lunch with a guy that does female Viagra…
Female marketing director: What do you mean he does female Viagra?
Quiet Office, 5th Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: i heard that!
Manager to another: Well…you're squishy!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: I just work here…
Young guy #1, staring at screen, to guy next to him: Fine, don't fucking chat to me then. I'm putting you on ignore.
Young guy #2, staring at screen: Facebook logged me out! (jabbing frantically at mouse button) I can't log back in!
Young guy #1, still staring at his screen: How the fuck are we going to chat then?
Ward Library
University of Western Sydney
Australia
Normal coworker: Jackie* is in Vegas, isn't she?
Less normal coworker: Yeah.
Normal coworker: I wonder how hot it is there?
Less normal coworker: Probably about 107 degrees.
Normal coworker: I don't think I could handle that kind of heat. I would have to stay inside the whole time.
Less normal coworker: Nah, you just sit out under the flamingos and let them pee water on ya. Keeps ya cool.
Ypsilanti, Michigan
Overheard by: Cube Dweller
New coworker: My name's Dave* and my eccentricity is I like everything in paper, not plastic.
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: dying a slow death here
