Office hoochie #1: Ow! It's cold in here today.
Office hoochie #2: Yeah, and where you sit, you get blowed from there, there, and there (points to ceiling)
Office hoochie #1: Yeah, I get blowed from all directions!
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Getting in line!
Starbucks barista: You know why they are called “naked juices”?
20-something: Excuse me?
Starbucks barista: They sprinkle just a little bit of E in them… Next thing you know you're feeling up on yourself, then next thing you know you're naked.
20-something: Uhhh…
Starbucks barista: I'm high as balls right now, man.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: College Student
General manager: Folks, this year is going to be like The Perfect Storm. You know, that movie with Kevin Costner.
Sales rep #1, whispering: Was Kevin Costner even in that movie?
General manager: We can either ride it out or we can push to the crest of the tsunami!
Sales rep #1: Didn't people die in The Perfect Storm?
Sales rep #2: Yes.
Plainfield Pike, Rhode Island
Production manager: I'm sorry, but Brad Pitt in Fight Club? That was the best he looked–with those abs that you didn't even know existed.
Editor: Like that eight ab right above his genitals?
Boss: Unlike my penis canopy?
Editor: Which shields it from sunlight and keeps it dry in the rain.
Brewster, New York
[Dead of winter.]Supervisor: Oh my god -short sleeves! Why didn’t you wear your coat?
Employee: I looked out the window and it didn’t look cold outside.
Dallas Parkway
Addison, Texas
Patron: Will the bank will be open on Friday?
Teller: Yes sir, we are open. Why shouldn't we be?
Patron: I heard it will be very cold Thursday and Friday.
Teller: No sir, we don't close the bank due to cold weather. How can I help you?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Eddie
Assistant director: So it snowed?! Was it cold?
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confused but amused
In a meeting: Providers only terminate their contracts for one of two reasons: Pay or Other.
At a bar with a friend: You know, I was diagnosed as a genius as a child and I think that is why I don’t get along with her; I don’t get along with other geniuses. That is why I think you and I are such good friends.
In response to an email: Ya know, I have tracking on this, and as usual, I am completely embarrassed.
[Bonus: found in coworker’s personal ad: Things that turn me on: Thunderstorms]522 SW 5th
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Breanna Freeman
Receptionist: it's too hot. i think i might die.
Boss: You will not die. People have survived thousand of years without air conditioner.
Receptionist: And where are all those people now? Dead! That's where.
Los Angeles, California
Trainer: You like the weather out here?
New girl: Yeah, it’s really dry… And, um, weird for directions and stuff, you know? Like, does the sun set in the west out here, too?
Trainer: Uh, yeah.
Phoenix, Arizona
