Washington

Marketing manager: My uncle had a chicken incident, and then he learned to keep his pants on.

Queen Anne Avenue
Seattle, Washington

Coworker: I brought a warmer coat because the Christmas party is today, and I might wind up in an alley.

Government Office
Washington, DC

Manager #1 (barely audible): Hey bud, did you go snowmobiling this weekend?
Manager #2 (yelling): Yeah man, I rode it all weekend and thought of you the whole time!

Bellevue City Center
Bellevue, Washington

Trainer: Let’s go around and have each of us tell the class some juicy, private thing about ourselves that the rest of us might not know.
Trainee: I don’t want to tell anything about my juicy privates… Uh, juicy… Um… Anything private.
Trainer: … Okay… Next?

810 3rd Avenue
Seattle, Washington

Employee: I’m tired of seeing movies that are just, like, The Adventures of White People.

Kane Hall, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Anonymous

Head of department: Can someone give an example of a person in the department going above and beyond the call of duty?
Woman: [Jane]. She does so much, not just for our group, but for other groups as well. I don’t think there’s anyone in the department [Jane] hasn’t serviced.

1200 12th Avenue South
Seattle, Washington

Director: It’s one of those chicken-before-the-horse things.

925 4th Avenue
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Blaque Mackintosh

Employee: Can I help you find something?
Customer: No, you don’t have it.
Employee: Then why are you still here?

Northgate Mall
Seattle, Washington

Receptionist: Every couple weeks or so I have to come back here and molest the printer paper.

Seattle, Washington

Editrix: I remember a time at this company when someone would say there was free food, and I’d go get some. It didn’t matter what it was — I ate it because it was free.
Scheduler: Sounds like a dark time.

2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington

Overheard by: Writer guy