Employee #1: I can’t believe they made that bitch Employee of the Month.
Employee #2: Me, neither.
Employee #1: I’m going to the general manager.
Employee #2: Yeah, I’ll back you up.
Later.
Boss: Who the hell told her that was a good idea to come see me?
Employee #2: I don’t know, I tried to stop her.
999 South Main Street
Salt Lake City, Utah
Boss, reading through company e-mails: Can I talk to you about this e-mail you sent to a client?
Employee: Sure.
Boss: In this e-mail you started out with the word “yay”; when I read this it struck me as very unprofessional. You shouldn't use the word “yay” when speaking with our clients.
Employee: That doesn't say “yay, it says “yeah”. It's a response to a question the client had.
Boss: Y-e-a-h is “yay.” Let's not use it in e-mails in the future, okay?
Employee: Okay (then under breath as he walks away) Fucking moron!
Salt Lake City, Utah
Development manager: … So then I told my wife that even if we raised our granddaughter she could still end up like her mother. I mean, she doesn’t have tattoos, but she does drugs and she’s a tramp.
IT analyst: Don’t call your daughter a tramp, that’s not nice!
Development manager: Why not? She sleeps with every Tom, Dick and Harry!
IT analyst: At least she has a social life.
1600 South 900 West
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Jealous
Office girl #1: So, when you mail something to Washington, DC, what’s the city and what’s the state?
Office girl #2: Put DC as the state.
Office girl #1: Does that mean Washington is the city?
Utah
Clinic pharmacist to nurse practitioners: Can we please not talk about my vagina anymore today?
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: It’s not THAT kind of clinic!
Former Mormon chick: I’m not really into religion anymore.
Dude: Oh, yeah?
Former Mormon chick: Yeah. I think I’m a Deist.
Dude: That’s interesting.
Former Mormon chick: I need to research what that means, though.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Mom to little kid: I told you not to go in the road.
Dad: Yeah, you get hit by a car, you gon’ be in there with mama on a bed. [Kid stares.] You get hit by a car, you gon’ have to get X-rays. You want X-rays? X-rays hurt.
Doctor’s office, 35th Street and Redwood Road
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: JChan
Dispatcher #1: Do you like that Ford truck country singer guy?
Dispatcher #2: Who, Toby Keith? I can't stand that guy, he makes my testosterone boil!
Dispatcher #3: Does that hurt?
Salt Lake City, Utah
Loopy office lady: Oh, in the winter I only drink decaf, but in the summer, I drink coffee with one shot of Kahlua, one shot of Baileys, and one scoop of vanilla ice cream. Oh, yeah! And one shot of amaretto.
Office Park
Murray, Utah
Overheard by: I'm the sucker with cream only.
