Time Management

Secretary: Hey, I haven’t seen you for a while. You been on vacation?
Associate: No, I’ve been here.
Secretary: I just love running into you. You look just like that guy from Whose Line Is It Anyway. That black guy…What’s his name?
Associate: Oh, really? No one’s ever told me that before.
Secretary: It’s ok, right? Because he’s my favorite.

1425 K Street NW
Washington DC

Overheard by: callmeahab

Man smoking outside office door: What year is this anyway? It’s 2006, isn’t it?

Goswell Road
London
England

Overheard by: Ava

Co-worker #1: I heard that the wood plant is going to take a floating holiday and shut down for opening day of hunting season.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, kind of like IT’s unofficial holiday for opening day of Star Wars.

901 44th Street SE
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Wishful thinking peon on phone: Yes, I can meet with this Simon guy. It’s not that Simon from American Idol, is it? Oh? That’s too bad… I guess I’ll still meet with him, though.

111 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Hear No Evil

Woman #1, waiting for elevator: We should really take the stairs.
Woman #2: Yeah. I've been trying to take the stairs more.
(they proceed to wait another three minutes, until elevator finally comes)

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Therapist #1: The client missed 80% of his appointments over the past two months.
Therapist #2: He was supposed to have 80% of his sessions in two months!?

Washoe Valley, Nevada

Coworker: The last time I slept that well at my desk I was two months pregnant.

Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: BWC

Editor: Doesn’t seem like three years since those nuns went to prison.

501 North Calvert Street
Baltimore, Maryland

Cube dweller #1: You've worked with giraffes?
Cube dweller #2: Yeah, transporting them is a real pain. They go in an open trailer, and every time you get to an overpass, you have to either let air out of all the tires to fit under it, or you have to stop, back them out of the trailer, walk them around the overpass, get them back in the trailer… It takes forever to get anywhere.
Cube dweller #1: Can't you just teach them to duck?
Cube dweller #2: (long pause) Not at those speeds.

Pearl Street
Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Explains giraffe-shaped divots in overpasses

Worker #1: But the nice thing is, this way, you can get up from your desk for a while.
Worker #2: Yeah…I could really use some blood in my ass.

1855 South Grant Street
San Mateo, California