And They Keep Slipping Out Of the Child Seats

Cube dweller #1: You've worked with giraffes?
Cube dweller #2: Yeah, transporting them is a real pain. They go in an open trailer, and every time you get to an overpass, you have to either let air out of all the tires to fit under it, or you have to stop, back them out of the trailer, walk them around the overpass, get them back in the trailer… It takes forever to get anywhere.
Cube dweller #1: Can't you just teach them to duck?
Cube dweller #2: (long pause) Not at those speeds.

Pearl Street
Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Explains giraffe-shaped divots in overpasses

Posted on May 1, 2017
Animals, Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Education, Gripes, Texas, Time Management

3PM Smoke Break

Worker #1: But the nice thing is, this way, you can get up from your desk for a while.
Worker #2: Yeah…I could really use some blood in my ass.

1855 South Grant Street
San Mateo, California

Posted on April 26, 2017
Advice, Body Parts, California, Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, Time Management

… For Babymaking

Partner: If you’re busy making a baby, tell me that. I just want to know who is available.

Tysons Corner
Virginia

Posted on April 24, 2017
Consultants, Time Management, Virginia

10AM Pre-meeting Prep

VP: Wow that sounds bad. Do we need to have a pre-meeting about that meeting?

3415 Vision Drive
Columbus, Ohio

Posted on March 29, 2017
Executives, General Idiocy, Gripes, Meetings, Ohio, Questions, Time Management

The Good News Is That the World Ends in July

Coworker #1: I've got good news and bad news.
Coworker #2: Okay, it's Monday, throw it at me.
Coworker #1: The website is not going to be done until August.
Coworker #2: August?! Why?
Coworker #1: Yeah… I know.
Coworker #2: So was that the bad news?

West Coast
Canadia

Overheard by: Carla

Posted on March 19, 2017
Canadia, Coworkers, Internet, Questions, Time Management

…We Fired the Psychic During Budget Cuts

Finance manager: Every time an e-mail outage occurs I'm working on something, and I have to start over. I need you to let me know an hour or so ahead of time next time the system is going to crash.
IT guy: Ummmmm…

Auburn, Indiana

Overheard by: dru

Posted on March 2, 2017
Bosses, Financial Folk, General Idiocy, Indiana, Internet, Tech People, Technology, Time Management

2PM Development Meeting

Dev: Well, what you have to do is–
QA: Wait, wait. Can you start at the beginning?
Dev: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…
QA: …

1600 Clarkson Road
Chesterfield, Missouri

Posted on February 13, 2017
Coworkers, Dumb Employees, Missouri, Offers and requests, Time Management

Much Like the Terminator

Manager: I will be gone after three.
Minion: Will you be back?
Manager: Yes, at various times throughout my career.

St. Louis, Missouri

Posted on January 2, 2017
Bosses, Employees, Missouri, Questions, Time Management

Pssst. They’re Talking About Pot.

Prime-time show employee #1: I am going to do some farming after this.
Prime-time show employee #2: I agree. You could use it.

CBS Television City
Hollywood, California

Overheard by: working too late

Posted on December 29, 2016
California, Employees, Time Management

Sometimes We Stand Around and Put Our Hands Up to It, to Feel Its Heat

Employee #1: Is the new copier up and running yet?
Employee #2: It's been plugged in since Wednesday, but we're not using it yet. I think it's charging.

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: On The Wrong Planet

Posted on December 7, 2016
Coworkers, Questions, Technology, Texas, Time Management, Weirdness

Time Management